I really dont know how to fuckng deal with you anymore. I love you, but i hate how youre acting. Theyre right. I dont think youre mature enough to handle somethinf like this. All you do is run, and hide, and push things in the back of your head. You were my best friend but you chose to hurt me even more, when everything could be fucking solved if you just had the balls to fucking to talk to me like a man. I dont even know if youre aware of how much this is fucking me up in the head. Ive spiraled down into doing these nasty vices just so i could ease the pain and suffering from not being able to resolve this until now. Ive never been so fucking low all my life, and i cant believe it'd be because of you. But the thing i hate most is, i can never hate you. You mean a lot to me despite all the shit and lies that youve given me, to what? Spare my feelings? Fuck that. Ive casted away these fucking feelings and thrown away my pride just to maybe still have the chance to be friends with you, cuz I really dont want to lose you. I. Cannot. Lose. You. And i feel like you also dont want to lose this friendship. But i need you to try too?? This goes both fcking ways. I cant be the only one. All i do now is wait for you to be ready and be, you know, mature enough to face me again. Until then, ill be waiting. I'll never give up on you.