To those who've helped and really grew close to
It really seems like one by one y'all leave ,as sad as it is to me I can understand that we all have out own lives to live but still at the same time I'd love if we could still talk.I get that we all get busy and we just have things to do but you caint tell me that you are too busy to say "hey how is it going' like every other months .No one has to say anything but I get it I'm not a part of the big picture and that's not what upsets me ,its the " I don't have time to catch up "
It's even worse because day by day there is never a thought of "oh I wish I would have never met you" its allways " I wish we could talk like we use to"
We grew distant ,it always feels like they are the ones who became distant with me ,sure maybe when and if we talk I'll leave out a few details ,but its not because I don't want you to know but its because it wont matter so I wont even bother.It feels like I just bother everyone
To those I get to see
I caint talk about anything ,and if I ever do it gets tossed aside ,so please don't come at me by telling me "whats wrong" when clearly ya'll don't want to hear it ,ya'll don't take it as serious just because its not your problem
To the world
I often don't feel wanted ,often feel judge by those around me ,I'm not asking for everyone to like me but don't be a jerk ,I've always felt like an outcast and even when I start believing " oh this is great finally surrounded by people who seem to like me" it happens all over again I'm honestly starting to think everyone just doesn't like me, friend's,family, society. I don't even like asking for help from my family ,its impossible to without getting treading like a failure
It seems like everyone shoves my flaws to my face ,I know I'm not perfect but I also know I'm not an asshole I get shitted on for being nice ,then I get shitted on for making mistakes ,to getting shitted on for being who I am
I'm just tired of everything ,very tired of this world I'm living in .The last 7 years it feels like it got worse as the years pass by .Its hard to live for me most people only see me as a very calm person but the truth is I'm going insane