This is going to be my first post here, but I suppose I'll just dump it here and give myself the closure.
I'm thinking ... I miss my ex. I don't know if they'll see me as that, an ex, since we've been together not long at all. Regardless, I still yearn for them. Even if they hate me now, even if we both know our relationship will never come into fruition because I can't give them the life they deserve.
Walking into the relationship, I knew with every step that it would eventually come to an end, just as they have remarked as well. I had years planned to be with them before my inevitable duty takes me from them, but before that can even happen, we've ended.
Since we've only ever agreed to meet up at the same place everyday at the same time, like old-fashioned clandestine lovers, I may never see them again, as they've explicitly promised me that I will never see them again, and that time will punish me.
No full names, no address, no numbers.
I wonder if, in the heat of the moment of their venomous vow, they really meant it when they said they only care about me when we are together, and that the moment we end, I'm yesterday's trash to them.
I regret being honest with them and telling them that I need more of their attention; I was afraid of smothering them, and they me, and in the end we became controlled, unnatural, vexed. I regret letting myself open up without being more careful; they weren't even my type - always skulking off into a corner to smoke - but when they smiled at me for the first time, I didn't think to keep my guard up and instead, fell and fell and fell. But it's already happened, so I'm resolved to give my mistake a proper chance to either live on or be buried.
I'll be waiting for them at the same place, same time as we've been doing, until their continual absence snuffs the last of my hopes of rekindle. The odds are against me, but no one is a sage in love.