OLDFAG THREAD 2: THE ANUS-RUPTURING BOOGALOO SQUEAKQUEL
Allow me to regale you with a tale of the utmost faggotry from days of yonder. A glorious time, much unlike the shitty dickery of today. If time could have sexual relations, the period this story takes place would be a bed-shattering orgasm, whereas the present period would be that horrifying morning after moment when the bitch hasn't left yet.
Once upon a time, The Colorless was brimming with faggots. These faggots overcame the hazardous word of passing that guarded the site, and were thrust into a void called Chat. The faggots were brought together by destiny and profound bonds and a weird chinese cartoon about vending machines or some shit.
The faggots thrived in their haven of sorts. they made merry and pentrated all available orfices, making sure to document each ass-pounding event. Their names varied, their icons restricted to a small selection of crude icons. Regardless of Colorless' meagre offerings, the faggots were more pleased than a brothel of Taiwanese hookers in a kareoke bar.
Intruders ventured into the Chat, but were expertly vanquished by the trollish defenses and awkward sexual advances commandeered by the faggots. All except one.
"Hark," cried the faggots to one another. "The newfags are coming, the newfags are coming! Hasten the snappy retorts and ready the banhammers!"
Indeed, the faggots fought valiantly, baring crooked tooth and manicured nail and flaccid genitilia. But alas, there was nothing to save their slutty souls from the Newfag. With recent site transformations, the Newfag grew in illiteracy and in number. Chat was overrun with attention whores and prudish weeabooes whose squees threatened the very sanctity of talking to strangers on the internet.
However, downtrodden as they were, the faggots resisted. They could never bring back the glory days, but they sure as hell could remember them.
And so, those chosen faggots became Oldfags- the designated drivers, the crotchety senior citizens, the most magnificent bastards you will ever have the fucking pleasure of encountering.
Their activity on this website has waned (mostly due to the accquiring of a so-called "life" or partaking in the ever so popular homosexual ass-ramming of an American you met on a six week mechanical engineering study trip) but recognizing an Oldfag solely requires correctly answering the following questions:
1. Do you remember Haven?
2. Fuck, do you?
3. What does BR mean?
Godspeed, you pieces of shit.