It's the wasp's elbows

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Quotes, wew and more quotes :D

  1. #610172013-07-16 15:18:57Dec said:

    Tate: Seriously, though, are you ready for all this? I mean, you never struck me as the diapers and midnight feedings type. Patrick: Maybe you should have taken a few minutes to get to know me before you stuck a fireplace poker up my ass. Tate: Fair enough.

  2. #610332013-07-16 18:47:21AlphaHikari_1A14 said:

    "Who is this we you speak of? Do you mean we as in you and not me? Because there is no me in we. There's just you." -Johnny Test

    "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby

    "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -Mark Twain

    "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." -Mae West

    "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. -Elayne Boosler

  3. #610702013-07-17 09:23:26johan_5179 said:

    "You're too loud, Police Girl. I don't care if you're a vampire. You're still English, have some manners" - Integra Hellsing (Hellsing Ultimate I)

  4. #610712013-07-17 10:35:03 *Kirn said:

    Let's go with something funnier this time:

    -- Fancy that! Crashing your plane and blaming the devil for it! What exactly happened?
    -- Well, one minute we were flying along quite happy, and then all of a sudden the pilot's testicles grew really really big.
    -- About 10000%! They were so big he couldn't reach the controls!

    (c) Tank Girl

  5. #610722013-07-17 10:41:44 *DarkChaplain said:

    "... And for He is my Lord, my Butterfly, I shall forthwith love all that he loves and shun all that he shuns. I shall serve against the dark tidings of the The Beast, the Moth of Great Tyranny."
    — NECTAR 12:23.

    "I can do all things through the Butterfly who strengthens me. For I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds, he who lives and dies for the Butterflies sacred message. For in nothing else does man approach Godhood more than in giving life and doling out death."
    — Prophet Der Schmetterlingsjäger, the Redeemed, Reflections on The Book of POLLEN.

    "Know, that in His heart, he cares for us. Cares for the well being of man, the well being of nature. Truly, our Lord is one of great mercy and justice. For when He, our Lord, fought the great and terrible Lord of the Moth, Mammoth, he still exercised fair judgement, and in his power reduced Mammoth to a insect of normal proportions."
    — Prophet Der Schmetterlingsjäger, the Redeemed, Reflections on The Book of POLLEN.

    "And lo, the Butterfly, in his spaceborn neoclassicism returned, once more to bring to our world the voice of Pollen and of reason. The path of the righteous Caterpillar beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil Moths. But yea, he shall persevere, nay, triumph over all those who would dare stand in the path of our Lord, the Butterfly!"

  6. #610742013-07-17 12:15:25 *Noodle said:

    “Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought bravely. And Rhaegar died. ”
    - George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

    “All these kings would do a deal better if they would put down their swords and listen to their mothers.”
    - George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

  7. #611182013-07-18 15:37:07newbNead said:
    "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
    - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
  8. #623502013-08-09 02:54:45PigBoss said:

    To the citizens of the United States of America:

    "In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately."

    "Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas ,which she does not fancy)."

    "Your new prime minister, David Cameron, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed."

    "To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. "You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary, then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

    2. "The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

    3. "Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, 'God Save The Queen'.

    4. "July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday."

    5. "You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

    6. "Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

    7. "All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

    8. "All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

    9. "The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

    10. "You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

    11. "The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

    12. "Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

    13. "You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

    14. "Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

    15. "You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

    16. "An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

    17. "Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season."

    "God save the Queen."

  9. #623562013-08-09 03:34:04 *johan_5179 said:

    You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

    But, they have the world's best fast-bowler in their side. And my favorite spinner as well.

  10. #650262013-10-27 08:36:12 *johan_5179 said:

    "Careful, Kokutou-kun. A terrible premonition often attracts a terrible reality." - Ryougi Shiki {Kara no Kyoukai 2 : Murder Speculation (First Half)}

  11. #667132013-11-28 12:52:41Rinneko said:
    "The supreme rule of life is to adapt without compromising."

    — Georg Simmel

    "If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less."

    — Paul Brown

    “I'm not afraid of death. It's the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.”

    — Jean Giraudoux

  12. #667462013-11-29 09:01:38DarkChaplain said:

    Some Scott Lynch goodness~

    “Some day, Locke Lamora,” he said, “some day, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”

    from The Lies of Locke Lamora

    “If you want to write a negative review, don't tickle me gently with your aesthetic displeasure about my work. Unleash the goddamn Kraken.”


    “I can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?”

    from The Lies of Locke Lamora

    And some kitten action from Red Seas Under Red Skies:

    “Mew," the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled.”