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  1. Dream or Family?

    #344352012-07-31 01:25:36 *123-456-7890 said:

    --i have realized that in our reality, there are two important paths a person has to choose, and usually, fate only allows one path, the path to fulfill ones dreams, and the path to build a happy family (sometimes people just abandon both and screw themselves up).

    --you could say, "oh, well why not just do both?" in our reality, its is very difficult to find a partner who is willing to help you create a happy family while letting you fulfill your dream on your own, meaning, it is very difficult to find a person who shares the exact same values and perspectives as you. so when unable to find a person like so, when that is what you think, you pursue our dream. but then after ur dream is accomplished, unless its never ending, you will be left alone in a world without a family (your parents will eventually pass away and relying on your siblings is just sad).

    --so in summery, its either be a...."dream fulfilled but forever alone" or "making money to support a happy family and properly educating your kid(s) " person

  2. #344392012-07-31 02:27:10 *Fieyr said:

    If your partner is unwilling to support your dreams, then you are with the wrong person. Your partner should want you to be happy and fulfilled. Your happiness is their happiness. That is what it means to love.

    Ask yourself, could you really love someone who is unwilling to support you in your dreams and aspirations? And if they can't support you in an area so crucial to your own personal fulfillment, then what other aspects of life will they be unwilling to support you? The raising of your children? Will they bail on you if you were to become ill?

    Long story short, you are not some helpless leaf being swept down the river of fate. Don't sacrifice your dreams for some forced superficial semblance of love. These are not the foundations of a 'happy family'. Starting a family for the sheer sake of starting a family will not bring you or anyone else happiness.

    My advice to you is... follow your dreams, whatever they may be. And if along the way, you happen to come across someone that wants to join you for the ride, then you will have found your soulmate.

    THEN AND ONLY THEN, do you even begin to think about starting a family.

  3. #344412012-07-31 02:30:43 *Warlock said:

    I just want to point out that the male to female ratio is crazy. There are many more females than males out there. Now, I realize, that not all will share your perspective/values, but you sometimes have to give in on that. A relationship is about complementing each other and making each other the better for it. I've had my thoughts on this as well too.

    If you don't find someone you love during your path in life to fulfill your goals, then that is also fine. However, I would hope that people work towards their dreams/goals rather than just finding a partner just to find one. It is important to have a family, but not everyone is able to do that with the dreams they pursue either. It all depends how engrossed you are in your work, and who you meet in your life.

    It is entirely possible to achieve having your dreams fulfilled and having a family. However, believing that you can manage both is important too. If you don't believe that you will, then you most likely won't.

  4. #344492012-07-31 04:44:41sonicx said:

    Family dude in dreams it not true but in real life you got family friends a real life i agree family sucks at some time but you still love them.

  5. #345032012-08-01 06:56:14bleachedsnow said:

    Personally, I'd pick the whole dream thing over the family building stuff, but if I end up having a family as well, then so much for the better.

  6. #345762012-08-01 22:15:24michaelrnz said:

    @123-456-7890 I had the same thought awhile ago, but I look at it a bit differently now. There are just things you can do on your own that you cannot do with someone else, even if they do support you a lot. You have to also support them a lot in what they wish for, so in a way it can be much harder to accomplish your dream, or at least the dream you had as a single person.

    But I guess that's the point. When you are with someone you are setting your direction together, all the joy that comes from that is a reward. You can still hold individual goals or dreams towards that common direction and both can derive much enjoyment in the journey.

    When with someone whether for the goal of having a family or for the companionship, you are doing that with the intention of changing your dream and if you make that choice then great, welcome to a new journey!

  7. #345822012-08-01 22:49:55ahayden said:

    Its there own fault there only one person that you can count on and that you. If you need someone to share your dreams with then your not you dreams anymore and that were you fail. your dream are yours and no one else. if you need someone there to help you or pick you up when your down then your just as weak as your dream

    In the end you are your biggest success or failure

  8. #346392012-08-02 17:02:17Paratoxical said:

    i hate children and nobody loves me, my pets are the only family i will need while i accomplish my dreams. and i'm looking forward to it.

  9. #346492012-08-02 20:33:11Mau said:

    That's a jaded perspective, fate is bullshit, things happen not because they are fated so much so that they just happen. It might be difficult to find a partner who loves you and supports your dream, but its not impossible to have both. You probably won't find someone with the EXACT same goals as you, but you can find someone who despite not sharing the same goals will support you because they love you.

    Work toward your goals, don't settle just because you think you won't find love if you follow your goals/dreams. Because in the end, if you don't you're going to hate yourself and that person for it, because you'll always wonder "What could have been?"

    And if in the long run you do wind up alone, so? Better to be alone and having reached your goals and passions, than to have just settled and silently resent yourself for just settling for someone.