I'm gonna butt in here. Was considering not to, but what the hell. I'm Mommy, after all.
@Wolfangle I mean, I can agree with the premise that people tend to be hot garbage, but the minutiae of your venting sound awfully arrogant and too convenient.
First off, yes, people put up a facade. The exact design of their masks varies from who they're around as well. It doesn't matter if you're a perfect stranger or the partner of a long-running relationship - facades will be maintained to some degree.
Heck, how long does it take most couples to even just not care about farting in the other's company anymore? It is a crude example, but one that makes it clear that the way one wants to appear, and thus their actions, are always dependent on context. You'll probably have an easier time finding the same people farting in the company of their buddies, by contrast.
So yes, people wear facades. But that isn't necessarily because of you, but usually because of how they want to be perceived. They don't simply smile to piss you off and pretend they like you, though it certainly happens, but because they don't want to be perceived as rude, debbie downers or uncertain of themselves. It is also easier to adhere to the herd mentality and not go against the grain, the reasons for which should be obvious.
And yes, people don't care. I know they don't, it is no secret. Most folks just contact you or make time for you when it suits them. Nobody is excluded from that, even if they try not to do it. People will more often make time for you when it actually benefits them. It is the way of things. You may consider it despicable, but that's how things work. People are inherently selfish, it is just the degree that varies depending on the level of relationship.
And yes, people aren't speaking their mind or having the balls to tell you things to their face. But then, why should they, really? It may be cowardly, but it is a simple way to avoid needless conflict and not add stress to your life. When people ask how you're doing, they don't actually want to know that you're having a shit day and have to spend time and effort patting your back, they want a quick and easy opening to ask or tell you things that concern them. Friends may actually care, but then people are quick to judge somebody a friend when really they're just a convenient acquaintance.
And yes, I've noticed this being worse with Americans, personally. Especially in public, even at stores, people put on fake smiles and give fake greetings and feel out of their depth when you make a non-formal reply the way they expect you to. I can tell you from experience that the same isn't true over here, where people tend not to ask unless they actually want to know. It's one of the reasons people consider Germans to be not as approachable or cold-shouldered, even.
But again, you sound arrogant with your statements. Everyone always thinks negatively of you, for example, sounds far too self-conscious. So what if they are? Usually they're not, they don't even care enough to think anything of you. 99% of the time, you don't leave any impression on the people you meet. It is arrogant and somewhat paranoid to think that people care that much about your comings and goings.
I'll also say that I doubt that you have such an easy time reading people. It is extremely easy to make shit up you want to confer from people's words, body language and what not. It takes a lot of practice and personal and emotional detachment to go in with little enough bias one way or another to make precise judgement there.
Don't get cocky, kid. You're too focused on yourself and not looking enough at what their own situations may be like. In a way, that even makes you part of the problem you describe. You say you want people to say things to your face and have the guts to approach problems head-on? Then lead by example. Do it yourself instead of waiting for others to do it for you. Take the lead and force confrontation rather than avoiding it just the same and then complaining later. It's more difficult, yep. I don't care enough to do that most of the time either. But if you want to be different, then be different, not just harp on everybody else being that way. Be who you want to be and show yourself as you are instead of bottling shit up.
Other than that I can just say that maybe it is time to cycle through "friends" and decide who's still worth putting an effort into staying close with. It'll be depressing to have that mental list dwindle, but eh, what are people who don't care enough anyway? A nuisance, that's what.
That may sound harsh and all, but honestly, the only shit you can actually change is your own approach to things. You can lament others all year long but it still won't change a thing.