I feel like I could just die right now. Part of me is just sad and hopeless, the other parts wants to beat some senseless the next time I see him.. Also just missing someone, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Just wanna wake up away & free from any pain & associate with people who actually matter to me.

And don't criticize me DC. I know you're reading this shit

I go to the doctors a lot, but I haven't gone for months now. I asked my dad to set an appointment, and I told him why. He always wants to make these excuses like "it's because your sleep schedule is messed up" or I'm not as active since sports ended." Or I could be this or that, which has nothing to do with my problem! I tried telling him that, that isn't the case but nooooo, he'll just continue to ignore it until something bad happens like always.

My SAT score (in my eyes) was fucking shit, and I wanted to retake it in August, but I'm not going to make it, plus it booked out. THEN on the day we got our scores we could send it to any of our colleges for free, TELL ME WHY that stopped before the day ended! Like I didn't get home super late, but it still ended. Sending scores is expensive af. I plan to retake it in fall, but I know I'm probably going to do worst.