My dog died this past Sunday.. He was drowning above ground for hours after something happened to his lungs and fluids started filling them up. I watched him struggle and stuck by him even after the vets tried to put him down. Tried, because he kept fighting to stay up even after the sleeping meds & poison tried to put him down.
Ignore the stuff below, i was in a mood while writing that. And didn't feel like writing the rest of it.
Most people assume that the death of a dog is no big deal. "You'll get over it in the next few days", they say. Or they assume you can't handle much when your only complaint of of a dog. It sucks, cause they're wrong about that. Living through harder times doesn't mean that each one is less sympathizing. One of my first memories is of someone drowning at a beach, a front row ticket to the show. I'm seen a lot of people die. But besides that point. If someone is close to you, regardless if a person or a pet. That shit hurts. Especially when the people around you had no cause to alarm when they saw this happen. Or the times prior to prevent this. That day i was pretty furious tbh. My schizophrenia was out of control that day, and i was super close to hurting someone or myself or something to ease the pain of my mind spiraling out of control.
But instead of that, on a hot day at a nice. My dog takes a dip in the pond/lake and after a bit starts gagging. We thought a little bit of water went on the wrong side of his throat or that he was just too excited that he couldn't breathe right for a moment. Till it got worse & he started panicking, losing strength, mouth & tongue turning blue & gray. Its not fun. Even less fun when everyone refuses to help, cause taking him to a vet requires a small amount of cash to check if something's up or that his fur or slobber would ruin the cars. And then having the nerv to fight off the vets, but they're to blame too looking like they cant help till you give them the cash. Or that cpr is an added thing and we cant save them till you pay them. This world runs on money like it's their blood.