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  1. Myriad of Ass


    #461362013-01-05 09:11:12 *RumpOfGrandiose said:
    (For future reference, these aren't dupes. The guys just couldn't stay awake till 4am in the morning when I finally felt like doing shit. Pussies.)

    Greetings young creations. I, and my fellow gods of ASS have come upon this gracious iteration to gift you all with the story of your creation. It is a rather ROBUST tale, such as myself, but I believe the majority of you will be able to appreciate its splendor. Please. Have a listen.

    A long long time ago.... Or not so long actually. In fact, this is taking place parallel to your timeline as of right now. From my perspective it was a long time ago, but from your’s the story I am about to tell you is most likely happening at this very moment. How is this possible? You have much to learn, but do not fret. We have much time to further elaborate on the universe that was, is, and continues to be created through various points in time and space along with the various other universe that came to be from the Great Fart. The one who had started this is said to be the father of the multiverse itself. Though, I’m getting ahead of myself. Sit down and listen while I tell you the ascension of.....

    The Rump of Grandiose

    It was long ago, well not really, but you know what I mean. Long ago there was a young boy. A child. Ignorance his disposition. Envy his curse. Destiny his moirail. However, this child would have to overcome various turbulences in his adventure before he can ever hope to attain his destiny as The Rump of Grandiose. They will happen every so often. If possible, Before his expansion, with the help of the Buttock of Expansion, the boy had been burdened with an rump like no other. A rump lacking in every aspect that made up any rump before and after his birth. A life of miserability plagued him. Seats could never feel comfortable. He did not have cushion when he fell down. Some really sick stuff. It was sad as shit to be honest. Poor little bitch didn’t have a chance.

    Oh my. I seem to have gone a tad gangsta. Forgive my outburst. They will happen every so often. Please bear with me yah punk ass little bitch.

    Moving along now. Only a rump as void as his could depart on the journey of expansion and growth. To ascend one must descend. The boys misfortune was in itself fortunate as his lack of plump in the rump would allow him to ascend to tiers never before seen. However, he would not travel this road of ascension alone. No, when the time came, the Rump of Grandiose would be joined by two other individuals. The three would ascend to greatness completing the triumvirate that would lead the multiverse in its development. Do you know what the multiverse is? I suppose you understand the literal definition. That’s good. It’s exactly what it is. A knowledgeable audience you are. Then tell me, have you heard of the Great Fart? You have? Don’t lie to me you fuckass little cock stain. I know damn well that you don’t have any fucking clue about what the Great Fart is or its origins so shut the fuck up, sit your ass down, and listen.

    The Great Fart. The beginning of everything. Well, from our perspective it was the beginning of everything. To our heroes, this was their end game goal. An accolade of sorts. The great fart was not any form of ridiculous gastral movement that is normally perceived by your universe. Oh no. The Great Fart is simply the ironic title that the Rump of Grandiose chose to name the great awakening and amalgam of him and his companions. It is not the official title of this overwhelming phenomenon.

    Apart, the three creators held abilities that were unrivaled by every sentient being in the multiverse except for three creatures of their own design. Their name; the Triplex Raven Cock. Their naturally gifted abilities were on par with the members of the Trio d’Ass. However, if the Trio d’Ass were to ever come together, the power that would exude from their plush rumps would be so tremendous that none would be able to escape the expansion. This has only ever happened on one occasion.

    The Myriad of Ass

    A combination of the Rump of Grandiose’ omnipresence, the Buttock of Expansion’s omnification, and the Ass of Manifold’s omnium gatherum created the miracle that is the Great Fart. Or in other words, the creation of the multiverse itself. All that ever existed owes itself to The Great Fart, you and me, everything, what? Whaddya means that’s nasty? Man, shut up this is some beautiful, majestic, and spiritual shit, oh what? why are you laughing? God, you are some tasteless motherfu- MOVING ON! Cod damn it Buttock.

    Let us return to introducing our heroes first and foremost. The Buttock of Exp~ er wait....

  2. #461372013-01-05 09:16:26ButtockOfExpansion said:

    The Buttock of Expansion

    Was the first of the triumvirate to have ascended into asshood. His role would be crucial for the Rump of Grandiose to reach his full potential.

    The Buttock grew up a humble young man. A jokester of sorts. He was a friend of the Rump as children, but grew apart as time progressed. As a child, he had pestered the Rump about his lack of cushion on more than one occasion. The relationship held between the two was not particularly friendly, however, it was necessary for the Rump’s future growth. You see, the Buttock of Expansion is simply that. His ability revolves entirely around his ability to alter the size of objects and their overall mass. Once he ascends to asshood, he would attain complete control over every object in existence. Size and mass eventually meaning nothing to him.

    Alas, that is where his fatal flaw rests. The Buttock would eventually hold nearly all the power of space. Nothing would be out of his limitation. Except the ability to create. He held no affinity with creation or the creative aspect that it held. The Buttock was very logical by upbringing. Not to say that he did not dream, but he was simply not meant to play the role of a maker. No, the role he was born to play would be much grander. Much more expansive. I’m getting ahead of myself again. Damn, I’m a shitty story teller. Whatever. You have to listen anyway. Unlucky little shit.

    As time would inevitably show, the Rump would stand no chance on his path to ascension without the help of the Buttock. Regardless of their misgivings towards each other, both required the other. 2 sides of a 3 sided dice if you will. Perhaps it is time to discuss the third side of this dice? Nay, you fuckers gotta wait. Still got shit to tell you about the Buttock. Don’t give me that look boy. I’ll fucking smack you. You think I won’t?! Ugh, whatever. Let’s just get on with the story so you can get the fuck out of here.

    Both the Buttock and the Rump, at the beginning of their journey, were both defenseless and held no affinity with combat. The Rump avoiding danger due to his lack of rear guard and the Buttock simply being socially adept enough to never require the need to arm himself with the knowledge of combat hence the reason their journey would have been vigorously difficult. “Would” being the operative word. The journey they would traverse was never meant to be a journey of two. A third member of this party was never not factored in. Of course, ascension would not have any particular requirement to the number individuals who ascended, but the true goal of their quest could never be truly met if they did not have the last of the triumvirate among them. Bringing us to the third and final member of the legendary trio.

  3. #461382013-01-05 09:18:15 *AssOfManifold said:

    The Ass of Manifold

    The Ass of Manifold was a peculiar case among the three. Simply put, she was not native to the planet that the Buttock and the Rump were native upon. Though, she was not unfamiliar with either figures either. The Asses role in this epic would be one that hinted at the inevitable ascension and success the party would face.

    The Ass had started out similar to our previously stated heroes. Full of vigor, life, and misfortune. The only difference being that the misfortune she had faced could have been interpreted as much more difficult than the Rump or the Buttock.

    Each hero had been forced to face an obstacle that would be necessary in their growth. For example, the Rump and his lack of posterior and the Buttock and his logicality. The Rump being the more literal of the two. The Buttock, however, had to undergo his journey of expansion through expanding his own imagination beyond logic.

    The trial the Ass would be faced with was one of solitude. Lost in confines of her own mind, she would create worlds so vast and imaginative that her role as the Manifold would encompass her very being. Once the Ass of Manifold had ascended to her godhood a slight instability would continue to snare her throughout the rest of eternity. What you would call Schizophrenia. The only difference being that her ability of propagation would allow her to create worlds all her own filled with creatures only possibly due to her affinity with creation. Still, when the Rump and the Buttock would eventually join her on her journey, they would find her odd demeanor off putting, albeit somewhat alluring.

    Her solitude was only possible due to the fact that the Ass was born into a dimension entirely separate to the Rump and the Buttock. Two universes travelling in parallel to one another. At this point in time there had been only these two universes in existence. The Multiverse had yet to be established. What? That’s impossible? Different choices create different universes you say?

    Shut the fuck up. Different choices create splintered timelines that continue to stay relevant to the alpha universe. It is not some separate universe all together! Where you get your information is beyond me, but you should stop listening to those fools because that explanation was as ridiculous as a fat cat riding a donkey. Are you done with this foolish interjection or may I resume the story? Done? Good. Fucking cock stain.

    Now, before I was rudely interrupted, where was I? Ah yes, the Ass. Her story is very different from the Rump or the Buttock. Her journey would be one traveled alone. In the beginning at least. Once her story required, the Rump and the Buttock would appear to assist her. How? Keep listening you cunt.

    After attaining the true abilities of Manifold and ascending as the Ass of manifold, the Ass would meet the Rump of Grandiose and the Buttock of Expansion who would have also just attained their godhood in a different universe. However, her journey would not end there. With the combined abilities of the Trio d’Ass, the boundaries of between universes would be traversable. The Rump and the Buttock would travel to the Asses universe and escort her to her goal while the Ass would travel to their universe and offer her assistance. Once their journey was completed and ascension obtained, the Rump of Grandiose, the Buttock of Expansion, and the Ass of Manifold would finally come together once again and their true purpose would be revealed. The creation of the multiverse.

    Look up. Do you see those stars in the sky? Beautiful aren’t they? Each star in the sky represents another universe. A door if you will. Each star is the pathway leading to another universe. For our heroes, they felt only the warmth of a single star. The beginning of life itself caused by a door. Laughable really.

    Legend has it that once the creation of the multiverse was completed the gods were separated amongst their vast creation. Their journey to find one another progresses even now. A bittersweet ending don’t you think? Well don’t you worry. The story doesn’t end there. What? You don’t care? Wow, you’re a little shit aren’t you. We haven’t even gotten to the Triplex Raven Cock yet. Just listen.

  4. #461392013-01-05 09:23:04PaltryPhallus said:

    THE TRIPLEX RAVEN COCKS? COCK? COOKS? KOAKY???? COKK??? GOOK??????????

    (I’ll make this more poetic later)

    Three ass gods, all alike in dignity.

    In fair Great Wall of Booty where we lay our scene.

    From ancient twerk-offs break to new defecations

    Where civil feces is actually not so civil

    From forth the heat of butts rubbing together

    A triforce of cocks are spontaneously born

    Whose abortion piteously failed lmao

    Do with their birth surface their parents’ questionings

    ‘Where the fuck did they come from’

    And the continuance of their elders’ farty expansions

    Which actually is still happening make it stop jfc makE iT STOP

    Is now the infinite toilet bowl of shit

    The which if you cumlotters with patient tits will calm thyselves

    What here shall miss, our poots will strive to dancing elves

  5. #461402013-01-05 09:23:56PaltryPhallus said:

    The first cock is The Wise Dick of Wisdom You probably know her because she is the founder of the Dickshunarie.

    You all probably know the shitty incorrect version because your education was shit.

    No really, you wasted a shit ton of your life being a shit head and........................................ and.....and that’s how she got the name.....

    Paltry Phallus.

  6. #461412013-01-05 09:25:18CopiousDick said:

    The second cock is actually not a cock but a misunderstood Jesus-chan Jesus was a bit on the meaty side. That made everyone hot for him or her idc. Even himher’s sister, Paltry Phallus.So Paltry ambushed Jesus-chan with deep seductive breaths heard from the other side of the hallway. Jk actually she walked into Jesus’s room and went erect and started humping Jesus’s sandals from multiple directions. “Jsus. I kno it wrong but” and den she slitherin around jesus’s ballsack and she lick his bulbous sahees a lot “Den why it feel.....oOkay??’” and Phallus went up and down and UP and down and den UU UUUUUUP and then all day way down 2 ShaveTown And that’s how it became the

    Copious Dick

  7. #461422013-01-05 09:26:37CantankerousCockslap said:

    The third cock is actually a butt plug

    but is p civilized and has a double major in japanese culture and professional japanese baseball management. One day as this butt plug was tunneling to find niggasarus rex bones with a shovel, she was shoved too far in by someone’s fingers and got lost in meaty intestrinal tract. Jesus-chan-chan-chan-chan-chan-chan jesus 6chan Cop came and lasso’d the butt plug out of there and thus saved hrss life, solidifying a penis contract, a cocktract, of friendship between them. Yeah swag swag he went to a government building to legally rename himself

    Cantankerous Cock

  8. #461432013-01-05 09:36:06 *Kirn said:

    TL:DR, but points for effort.

    Let's see, 7 posts, made from 09:11:12 to 09:26:37.. with pre-made posts, this would be quite a fail result for one person, even considering switching accounts and proxies (though, there are ways around that which would allow to post everything in under 1.5 minutes). Hence I am willing to believe you are different people (most likely, less than there are accounts made for this) with poor coordination. Or, still, you may be one person... but a really-really slow one.

  9. #461442013-01-05 09:44:14 *RumpOfGrandiose said:

    @Kirn

    The copying and pasting of the post were not where the time consumption between those various post sat. For the most part, I was becoming accustomed to the various differences between markdown and BBCode.

    That, along with fixing some minor errors in several of the posts among those six accounts had taken some time. There was a tad number of jump arounds into wrong accounts, but those were my follies. Personally, I believe I could have done better in the time department as well.

  10. #461472013-01-05 11:08:39CantankerousCockslap said:

    Hello peasants,

    I am Cantankerous Cockslap, the youngest of the three, but certainly the wisest. Don't let that fool Paltry deceive you, the true scholar of the three is me. With my knowledge and wisdom, I will save you from yourselves and open your eyes to the truth.

    Abandon your heathen gods, come under my wing and we as in I, shall lead you to salvation. Can you feel the salvation? The tingling in dark cavernous nether-regions that were said to have been lost in ancient lore? Yes, that quivering feeling is salvation.

  11. #461482013-01-05 11:23:09Trev said:

    I am flagging this thread (of questionable value) as NSFW. Do not remove the tag or it will be deleted and I will ban all of your accounts.

  12. #461622013-01-05 16:55:41 *Flywalker37 said:

    (FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, THESE AREN'T DUPES. THE GUYS JUST COULDN'T STAY AWAKE TILL 4AM IN THE MORNING WHEN I FINALLY FELT LIKE DOING SHIT. PUSSIES.)

    Greetings lil' creations. I, n' mah fellow godz of ASS have come upon dis gracious iteration ta gift you all wit tha rap of yo' creation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It be a rather ROBUST tale, like fuckin mah dirty ass yo, but I believe tha majoritizzle of yo big-ass booty is ghon be able ta appreciate its splendor. Please yo. Have a listen.

    A long long time ago.... Or not so long muthafuckin. In fact, dis is takin place parallel ta yo' timeline az of muthafuckin right now, nahmeean, biatch? From mah perspectizzle it was a long-ass time ago yo, but from your’s tha rap I be bout ta rap is most likely goin down at dis straight-up moment yo. How tha fuck is dis possible, biatch? Yo ass have much ta learn yo, but do not fret. Our thugged-out asses have much time ta further elaborate on tha universe dat was, is, n' continues ta be pimped all up in various points up in time n' space along wit tha various other universe dat came ta be from tha Great Fart. Da one whoz ass had started dis is holla'd ta be tha daddy of tha multiverse itself. Though, I’m gettin ahead of mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sit down n' listen while I rap tha ascension of.....

    Da Rump of Grandiose

    It was long ago, well not straight-up yo, but you know what tha fuck I mean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Long ago there was a lil' pimp fo' realz. A child. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Ignorizzle his fuckin lil' disposition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Envy his curse. Destiny his crazy-ass moirail. But fuck dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat dis lil pimp would have ta overcome various turbulences up in his thugged-out adventure before he can eva hope ta attain his fuckin lil' destiny as Da Rump of Grandiose. They will happen every last muthafuckin so often. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If possible, Before his wild lil' fuckin expansion, wit tha help of tha Buttock of Expansion, tha pimp had been burdened wit a rump like no other fo' realz. A rump lackin up in every last muthafuckin aspect dat done cooked up up any rump before n' afta his birth fo' realz. A thuglife of miserabilitizzle plagued his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seats could never feel comfortable yo. Dude did not have cushion when he fell down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some straight-up sick stuff. It was fucked up as shizzle ta be honest. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skanky lil biiiatch didn’t gots a cold-ass lil chizzle.

    Oh my. I seem ta have gone a tad gangsta. Forgive mah outburst. They will happen every last muthafuckin so often. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Please bear wit mah crazy ass yah punk ass lil biiiatch.

    Movin along now, nahmeean, biatch? Only a rump as void as his could depart on tha journey of expansion n' growth. To ascend one must descend. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da boys misfortune was up in itself fortunate as his fuckin lack of plump up in tha rump would allow his ass ta ascend ta tiers never before seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fuck dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat he would not travel dis road of ascension alone. Fuck dat shit, when tha time came, tha Rump of Grandiose would be joined by two other individuals. Da three would ascend ta pimped outnizz completin tha triumvirate dat would lead tha multiverse up in its pimpment. Do you know what tha fuck tha multiverse is, biatch? I suppose you understand tha literal definition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. That’s phat. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It’s exactly what tha fuck it is fo' realz. A knowledgeable crew yo ass is. Then tell me, have you heard of tha Great Fart, biatch? Yo ass have, biatch? Don’t lie ta mah crazy ass you fuckass lil dizzle stain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I know damn well dat you don’t have any fuckin clue bout what tha fuck tha Great Fart is and its origins so shut tha fuck up, sit yo' ass down, n' listen.

    Da Great Fart. Da beginnin of everythang. Well, from our perspectizzle it was tha beginnin of everythang. To our heroes, dis was they end game goal fo' realz. An accolade of sorts. Da pimped out fart was not any form of ridiculous gastral movement dat is normally perceived by yo' universe. Oh no. Da Great Fart is simply tha ironic title dat tha Rump of Grandiose chose ta name tha pimped out awakenin n' amalgam of his ass n' his companions. It be not tha straight-up legit title of dis overwhelmin phenomenon.

    Apart, tha three creators held abilitizzles dat was unrivaled by every last muthafuckin sentient bein up in tha multiverse except fo' three creaturez of they own design. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Their name; tha Triplex Raven Cock. Their naturally gifted abilitizzles was on par wit tha thugz of tha Trio d’Ass. But fuck dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat if tha Trio d’Ass was ta eva come together, tha juice dat would exude from they plush rumps would be so tremendous dat none would be able ta escape tha expansion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This has only eva happened on one occasion.

    ....what?

  13. #461722013-01-05 19:14:14CantankerousCockslap said:
    Because the world must know the truth, and we being the generous saviors we are, decided to offer you a choice of not just enlightenment but salvation as well.

    Be gone with you!
    The truth is far too heavy a burden for your soul to bear.
    Run along, remain blind to the truth, and forever deprive yourself of true bliss.
  14. #461732013-01-05 19:15:27PureBoredom said:

    @Ashkachan How could you say such a thing?! They are just giving notice to what gave true creation to our universe: the Trio d'Ass.

    And to think we considered you high in our order of disciples Asshka- no, Ashka.

  15. #461742013-01-05 19:26:08RumpOfGrandiose said:

    @CantakerousCockslap @Pureboredom Calm yourself my brethren. Patience is a gift not offered to many and I have gifted you with the ability to not allow your impudence to control you in the face of adversity. Do not chastise the deluded girl due to her lack of faith.

    @Ashkachan We have come upon this site today in hopes of taking our first steps in reclaiming one of many universes from the clutches of the blasphemous faith. Our goal is only to offer a hand in your inevitable expansion. If you choose to join us, we would welcome you with open arms. If not, well... that is your decision. Your will is your own no matter how imbecilic.

  16. #461872013-01-06 06:16:50Maryam said:

    So, I finally check the I-am-above-18-now-show-me-da-NSFW-content box and this is what I see? Seriously?

    What else have you guys been hiding from me?