(For future reference, these aren't dupes. The guys just couldn't stay awake till 4am in the morning when I finally felt like doing shit. Pussies.)
Greetings young creations. I, and my fellow gods of ASS have come upon this gracious iteration to gift you all with the story of your creation. It is a rather ROBUST tale, such as myself, but I believe the majority of you will be able to appreciate its splendor. Please. Have a listen.
A long long time ago.... Or not so long actually. In fact, this is taking place parallel to your timeline as of right now. From my perspective it was a long time ago, but from your’s the story I am about to tell you is most likely happening at this very moment. How is this possible? You have much to learn, but do not fret. We have much time to further elaborate on the universe that was, is, and continues to be created through various points in time and space along with the various other universe that came to be from the Great Fart. The one who had started this is said to be the father of the multiverse itself. Though, I’m getting ahead of myself. Sit down and listen while I tell you the ascension of.....
The Rump of Grandiose
It was long ago, well not really, but you know what I mean. Long ago there was a young boy. A child. Ignorance his disposition. Envy his curse. Destiny his moirail. However, this child would have to overcome various turbulences in his adventure before he can ever hope to attain his destiny as The Rump of Grandiose. They will happen every so often. If possible, Before his expansion, with the help of the Buttock of Expansion, the boy had been burdened with an rump like no other. A rump lacking in every aspect that made up any rump before and after his birth. A life of miserability plagued him. Seats could never feel comfortable. He did not have cushion when he fell down. Some really sick stuff. It was sad as shit to be honest. Poor little bitch didn’t have a chance.
Oh my. I seem to have gone a tad gangsta. Forgive my outburst. They will happen every so often. Please bear with me yah punk ass little bitch.
Moving along now. Only a rump as void as his could depart on the journey of expansion and growth. To ascend one must descend. The boys misfortune was in itself fortunate as his lack of plump in the rump would allow him to ascend to tiers never before seen. However, he would not travel this road of ascension alone. No, when the time came, the Rump of Grandiose would be joined by two other individuals. The three would ascend to greatness completing the triumvirate that would lead the multiverse in its development. Do you know what the multiverse is? I suppose you understand the literal definition. That’s good. It’s exactly what it is. A knowledgeable audience you are. Then tell me, have you heard of the Great Fart? You have? Don’t lie to me you fuckass little cock stain. I know damn well that you don’t have any fucking clue about what the Great Fart is or its origins so shut the fuck up, sit your ass down, and listen.
The Great Fart. The beginning of everything. Well, from our perspective it was the beginning of everything. To our heroes, this was their end game goal. An accolade of sorts. The great fart was not any form of ridiculous gastral movement that is normally perceived by your universe. Oh no. The Great Fart is simply the ironic title that the Rump of Grandiose chose to name the great awakening and amalgam of him and his companions. It is not the official title of this overwhelming phenomenon.
Apart, the three creators held abilities that were unrivaled by every sentient being in the multiverse except for three creatures of their own design. Their name; the Triplex Raven Cock. Their naturally gifted abilities were on par with the members of the Trio d’Ass. However, if the Trio d’Ass were to ever come together, the power that would exude from their plush rumps would be so tremendous that none would be able to escape the expansion. This has only ever happened on one occasion.
The Myriad of Ass
A combination of the Rump of Grandiose’ omnipresence, the Buttock of Expansion’s omnification, and the Ass of Manifold’s omnium gatherum created the miracle that is the Great Fart. Or in other words, the creation of the multiverse itself. All that ever existed owes itself to The Great Fart, you and me, everything, what? Whaddya means that’s nasty? Man, shut up this is some beautiful, majestic, and spiritual shit, oh what? why are you laughing? God, you are some tasteless motherfu- MOVING ON! Cod damn it Buttock.
Let us return to introducing our heroes first and foremost. The Buttock of Exp~ er wait....