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  1. Long-distance foreplay/sex toys. The future is here.


    #541522013-04-24 14:53:47 *Kirn said:

    Well, guys, this was a long time coming. I mean, with internet so big, more people every year fall in love on the internet and enter those long-distance relationships. And with technology evolving, people on those relationships have more and more ways to interact without actually meeting. Right now with Skype and Tinychat you can see and hear each other, easy, but years ago. for example, all we had was just text. You have no idea how hard it was to do cybersex in those days.

    But that's not the limit. I am telling you, forget about talking and looking at each other, how do you like to actually feel your girl up on the internet? Well, you will be able to soon. The link is up there, but I will post it again. This is an invention that consists of a iPhone app and 2 sets of underwear - male and female. That underwear is fitted by some tech that gets signal from your iPhone and, I don't know, probably vibrates or something.

    So, can you imagine that? Oh, fuck imagining, I will link you an ad video.

    This thing is still in its testing phase and, guess what, they are looking for people to test this thing. I shit you not, I went to their FB page (you can find it though the link I provided) and they have a contest going for people to receive the set of these toys, 500$ and 2 5-star hotel rooms to themselves.

    The downside of this is that the fuckers who do it are in Australia, so I am pinging @Deftones right fucking here. Go, man, win the contest for all of us and then don't forget to tell how it feels.


    But that's not all, 'cause, while Australians are pretty messed up, we all know that Japan takes the cake. And yes, while Durex guys are just making a foreplay long-distance toy, Japanese bastards already made an actual long-distance sex toy.

    https://www.lovepalz.com/assets/images/banner/banner_device_01.jpg

    And here's the fucking link for the site where you can actually buy it

    This one toy consists of 2 cylindrical toys - one is for men (named Zeus) and the other is for women (named Hera). The men toy is something like a fleshlight while women is like a vibrator. But that would not impress anyone, so I will just quote the description from the site:

    "LovePalz is a brand new concept of motion sensing technology that aims to create physical feelings as real as possible in virtual sex experience. It can simulate your actions and cause physical contact over internet in real time. Through our service, you and your lover each hold one device and as long as you remain connected to the internet, the device automatically senses your actions and conveys them to your partner's toy! In short, how you use it is simultaneously reflected on your lover's toy, physically! bringing you and your lover together even when you are miles apart.

    The speed sensor in Zeus will detect the speed of male action and send to the Hera, the female toy. Hera will reflect and match Zeus's speed automatically. Hera on her part, will sense the pressure inside the toy based on the female's reaction and then send that information to Zeus. Zeus's air pump will configure its tightness automatically based on the received signal."


    So there you have it, gang. We are one step closer to having full real-life experience on the internet. One step closer to the glorious dreams of virtual reality in full-body virtual-reality suits! This is just a small thrust for one man, but it is a thrust that sticks your dick right into the internet.

    Let us step together into the age of internet fucking!

  2. #541532013-04-24 14:59:58 *deng said:

    Uhh... I read about the Durex things a while ago... Not gonna say it's a bad idea... Buut... This is going a little over the top. Just a bit. I wouldn't mind testing one of these things, but on the other hand it's not like it can replace actually touching someone. All I can say, is that Zeus and Hera... Using those names is lame. It's ridiculing Greek Mythology, and Zeus doesn't fuck around when he's made fun of. Not that I expect something to happen, but we'll see.

  3. #541922013-04-25 03:45:34 *Black_W said:

    I want it all (give it all - I want it all)

    I want it all (yeah!)

    I want it all and I want it now

    I want it all (yes I want it all)!

    I want it all, hey!

    I want it all and I want it now! ©

  4. #541992013-04-25 06:05:11 *Kirn said:

    Well, I am disappointed in @Deftones. He could have been a pioneer in this new area, he could have gotten himself a place in history, he could have been our rightful representative in the world of sexual entertainment... but he threw it all away and ran. Do we have another Australian in da house?

  5. #542312013-04-25 16:40:49 *Cloud-VK said:

    That couldn't be very fun though. -.-

    This is an invention that consists of a iPhone app and 2 sets of underwear - male and female. That underwear is fitted by some tech that gets signal from your iPhone and, I don't know, probably vibrates or something.

    And not very diffrent from pocket panties.

    OOPS alright I admid thats kind of cool, the sensor thing.

  6. #542342013-04-25 17:15:45Kirn said:

    @CloudVariasKira for fuck's sake, next time read the whole fucking post first and comment later, eh?

    Also, I demand you people bring me an Australian person - ready and willing!

  7. #602982013-07-03 00:14:18 *cj3366 said:

    j...just no word i am speachless who nows if it's a good or bad silence but i know who i'd use this on and i think everyone else knows too heh heh heh(hint hint someone on the CL)

  8. #603222013-07-03 11:58:32Cloud-VK said:

    twas a sight, to be had-

    It took him forever to get it out on the table.

    "hey...dc can I ask you a question?"

    ...

    "dc?"

    ...

    "is that a yes or a no?"

    I didn't think he'd ever get to the point.