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  1. How should I break up with him

    #677122013-12-26 21:37:21PrettyPinkPastel said:

    Okay so I've never broken up with someone before, my friend said just do it threw a text, but I think that's a little cold. How should I break up with him?

  2. #677132013-12-26 21:42:25Taro_Tanako said:

    Don't text. Man up and do it face to face. It'll be emotional but you'll show you respect him and it means you're a good person. Unless he's a douche, in which case text him and be mean about it.

  3. #677142013-12-26 21:48:14 *--Jack-- said:


    How to Break Up

    First of all, attempt to do the following:

    • Try to understand the other person still cares about you, so be as non-judgmental to them as you can. Don't make them feel bad twice.

    • Preface your statements. Example: "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but..." This lessens the impact of serious statements you may need to express.

    • Tell them it's your fault (even if it's not). This depends on if you're dating a prick. if you're dating a prick, it's most likely their fault and they should be told-off. But if the person is nice and/or sensitive, sharing the blame for the relationship ending can help ease stress.

    How to break up. This time, with steps!

    Steps that are more like tips, but steps nonetheless.
    1. Take them to an open place that is fairly neutral. The memory of being broken up with can also be chosen well too. If they're at a place they like, they might be reminded of the breakup each time they come, so don't take them somewhere they like. be considerate of the surroundings. And always break up with someone in person

    2. Talk seriously and "Outside of the box". Don't worry about sounding awkward, just express how you feel. Most likely it will be how you no longer want to be with the person. Talking of how you "don't want to waste their time" since you aren't feeling interested can help them feel like they aren't being hurt so much as helped.

    3. Separate yourself from them afterwards. Try not to stay friends, that is often messy and just leaves them trying to cling to you as a friend for what affection they can get. Push them into moving on by not being near them often. Be friendly, but don't keep reminding them that you exist.

  4. #677202013-12-26 22:58:54AnimeShifter said:

    Well, you can't really do that in person if the person lives more than 3000 km away from you (that's my case).

    Since I knew that the other one is busy I gave him a short explanation, or more like an apology. While doing that I was understanding; didn't wrote thing like "It's over bye." No. Just imagine yourself in that person's place!

    Also "Push them into moving on by not being near them often. Be friendly, but don't keep reminding them that you exist." Don't remind them of your own existance? Excuse you but that's awful. Be friendly but not too much. Like there still has to be a line or things will get awkward. But don't just go like "What's up?" and that's all. Talk to them, maybe hang out from time to time. But remind them of the boundary.

    let's just imply that I am really experienced in this ok bye

  5. #677212013-12-26 23:11:18 *Kip said:

    face to face, if you can. don't be a pussy.

    if you have social anxieties then call them, but don't frickin' text them. you aren't 12 years old. your friends advice is mediocre and stupid. i bet she's had "Like, 10 boyfriends!" right?


    or 10 girlfriends, if it's a boy. but who cares. bad advice is still bad advice.

  6. #677222013-12-26 23:20:54--Jack-- said:

    --Point of order--

    Should we just have a "Relationship Advice/Help" Thread?

    I ask because we've been getting a lot of "Help me with -insert feels-" questions on chat lately. There isn't too much wrong with that. I don't particularly worry about ridicule on CL due to the fact that a few of us have actually shared enough to not be overbearing and offensive. Also unless you give out your info regularly, it's anonymous for the most part.

    Also kindly don't respond to this just to mock CL's empathetic skill.
  7. #677432013-12-27 09:56:58Ecstasy said:

    @--Jack-- it's mostly new members though. older members would still prefer bringing it up on chat. and new members probably won't use the search bar or even scan the frontpage on existing threads. but the thread idea isn't bad, so you could still give it a try I think.

  8. #677232013-12-26 23:22:22abinit123 said:

    DO NOT TEXT! what ever you do... scrap that, there is but one option and that is to do it face to face. Even though you're breaking up with her you need to comfort her, but don't be too soppy or she will think that you still like her. You need to be spot on with your tact. Like you can't say any of that cheesy stuff like 'its not you its me' because that just makes everything worse.

    .... Anyway good luck, you might just need it!

  9. #677282013-12-26 23:57:10mizlily said:

    Some people actually prefer text, which makes sense, You'd call someone out just to make them cry in front of you and humiliate them? :\

  10. #677302013-12-27 00:03:02Kirlyte said:

    "You'd call someone out just to make them cry in front of you and humiliate them?"

    Whoa there, that's too many assumptions to try and cram into one sentence now.

  11. #677312013-12-27 00:09:24awkwardangels said:

    Dump him and be as free as a dolphin in the ocean.

    Okay, seriously don't do it over text. Unless its a online relationship sort of thing, even then do it over cam if you Skype with him/her a lot. Be calm, cool and collected, don't break down in in tears or something. Explain why you want to break up with them.

  12. #677322013-12-27 01:17:15 *Mau said:
    Never dump somebody over text, it's basically the equivalent of writing a sticky note and slapping it on their fridge, you wouldn't dump somebody on a sticky note right? Then why would you do it through text message? So yeah, your friend messed up with that.

    Now, I'm not saying you should invite them out in public to dump them and humiliate them, which might not humiliate or even phase them, although, if dumping them that way works for you no one can really stop you, but at least give them a phone call to explain why you feel like the relationship isn't working and why you're done.
    If he was a shitty partner, I would say still call him and be very ambivalent about it, no emotions, that would actually be more of a slap to the face then a text, texting them makes you come off as passive (even if that's not your intention).

    Most importantly: Do what's right for you, do what will help you through this.
  13. #677402013-12-27 09:47:02 *Rinneko said:

    Well, basically everything that has been mentioned above. It would be unwise to do it over text. That's really hurtful; it makes you seem like you weren't serious about the relationship and do not respect them enough to talk it over seriously face-to-face. Personally, I feel like a phone call is still too detached.

    I'd say do the break-up anywhere you two are comfortable. Preferably not your's or the other party's home though as a precautionary measure if things go bad.

    By the way, having a 'help me with _____' thread sounds like a good idea.

  14. #677562013-12-27 16:47:52Frostfire said:

    easiest way to dump somebody : do it face2face i know it would be hard to do it,but that is the most effective way to dump someone. go to that person,tell them that you want to break-up and why,problem solved . . .

  15. #680002014-01-05 10:23:56Xyopq said:

    However you do it. Don't do it somewhere where they can throw things at you, like the fruit isle.

    Also make sure you break up after sex (it's much harder the other way round).