How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".

"You must be a technician." said the balloonist. "I am" replied the man "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."

The man below responded, "You must be in management". "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fucking fault!!!

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken!

Lieutenant, [19.07.16 00:26] Samuel is so stupid, why hold the cable by the wires :')

Lieutenant, [19.07.16 00:26] what kinda people do that

Lieutenant, [19.07.16 00:26] but then again he's a royalty, he probably doesn't know this kinda stuffs

Kirn, [19.07.16 00:26] I have no idea. I expected him to go "this is dangerous to grab"

Kirn, [19.07.16 00:26] And he just did and died instead

Kirn, [19.07.16 00:26] It was a fucking shock

Kirn, [19.07.16 00:26] (that's a pun)

"No Bayne, you can't skip the year eleven formal!"

-my teachers

HAHAHAHAH @lilyisnotonfire x,D

Saftey in numbers

tell that to 6 million jews...

A beautiful pun @Kittycat said during dinner:

"The only mango I like is Pokeman-GO." We were livid.