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The Bad Joke Thread

  1. #847472014-11-23 08:24:12--Jack-- said:

    Let me tell you the story of a man named Zeke...

    Zeke was a man with a life full of hardships. Growing up Zeke had few friends, and he didn't have very good parents. Even his teachers were rough on him. As Zeke grew up he moved onto high school, where not much changed. He broke both of his legs before his time in high school was over, thanks to sports and bullying. He had trouble getting into any higher education and was forced to take up a janitorial job mopping floors in a school, where he was bothered by kids day in and day out. Eventually, Zeke developed cancer, and decided to end his life. Going to a cliff by the sea, he approached the edge, looking out over the vast ocean at the horizon. Jumping, Zeke plunged down towards the ocean. Just then, before he reached the ground, a touring boat passed under him and he thudded against the hard wooden deck...

    ...but that's ok, Zeke was used to hard ships.

  2. #847562014-11-24 00:26:39 *Anweira said:

    Person A: You sure garden a lot. Don't you ever get busy?

    Person B: Of course I do, but I plan ahead and never run out of thyme.

  3. #852792014-12-08 02:29:51AlphaHikari_1A14 said:

    A father asks his ten-year-old son, Johnny, if he knows about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asks Johnny what is wrong. 'Oh Daddy,'Johnny sobs. 'At age six I got the "there's no Easter bunny" speech. Then at age eight you hit me with the "there's no tooth fairy" speech! If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really screw, I've got nothing left to live for.'

  4. #860162015-01-04 17:59:32Mau said:

    A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then poof … he disappeared without a tres!

  5. #860472015-01-06 03:18:26--Jack-- said:

    Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

    "Windows frozen, won't open."

    Husband texts back:

    "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

    Wife texts back 5 minutes later:

    "Computer is really screwed up now.”

  6. #860702015-01-06 23:08:53Anweira said:

    "Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,

    While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

    Sincerely,

    The Opportunist"


    "Dear Opportunist,

    All liquids that look like water aren't always water.

    What you drank was Sulfuric Acid. You dumb!

    Sincerely,

    The Chemist"