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  1. CL User Guide: Kirn


    #916552015-08-28 07:57:54 *Lieutenant said:

    1) Who is Kirn?

    Let's take a look at his profile:

    http://orig02.deviantart.net/e06b/f/2015/239/8/d/kirn_profile_by_zeleftenant-d97fnv2.png

    @Kirn is a Russian fella who is currently residing in Ukraine. He has been one of the solid old CL member that is well-known and respected since the old times of CL (currently having the highest percentile among the members), even though most of the staff would refer to him as a troublemaker (hence the 5 times permanent ban), he get things done and in some ways helped shaped CL to what it is now, leaving his footprints all around the site.

    It has come to be obvious that his weapon of choice is the almighty shovel, fending off troublemakers off the site by being one himself. Many has misunderstood his true intentions towards CL, though he speaks with a brutally cynical tone, it is indeed true that he takes care of CL in a very different perspective of view that no one else sees.

    He hates everyone by default. He spares no soul on his presence, especially those dense enough his shovel can find them in no time.

    So why is this thread made? Definitely not on his tribute. This thread is made for precautions to the users of CL (especially the newfags), an additional guide to overcome this intimidating user. After you read this, you surely will realize how much of an idiot you are, or that nothing is so bad after all.

    But why Kirn, in particular? Why, you ask? What's not to be alarmed about him? Imagine an old guy in his shack that owns a PTRD-41 that is willing to shoot you off from the window while shouting "Get off my lawn!" Those who talked to him, knows very well how this one operates, and he will not stop until he gets what he wants, and since staff and (new) users have enough problem with him already, it's about time CL need a guide in order to work well with him in such community.

    Let's get on to it.

  2. #916562015-08-28 07:58:02 *Lieutenant said:

    2) Some information that may help you.

    • This user can write to you (or himself) more than 10 pages long if you make him do so. He lives to write his entire lifetime.

    • You can never separate him with his almighty shovel, that is his strong point.

    • No one knows his true weakness. and I will never reveal it to protect his tenacity

    • Despite of his fury, he is more knowledgeable than you think.

    • He hates the stupid badges (namely rabu and nerd badges)

    • He appreciates good art.

    • He appreciates when user participates on a forum, especially when they put on a good thought on their posts.

    • You can never say goodbye to him when he leaves chat, so don't even bother.

    • There are not many like him left.

    • He doesn't like to be touched. So don't ever think about touching him.


    3) The things he does on site.

    • He makes threads, occasionally on what he watches (documentaries, movies, games). You can check out his tag here.

    • Usually goes on chat not to get empty talks, he gets involved with productive talks (stories, politics, mainly happening things that can get him rant or so).

    • Giving a rite of passage to the newfags of the site. New users will not get much problem with him, he focuses more on the retard ones to get the sense out of them. The site needs more productive people.

    • On rare occasions, he picks up unfinished projects, if he feels like it has potential, or he will ask someone to pick it up when he doesn't want to do it.

    • He can run projects and kick people around to do work.

    • He's the writer of TheColorless News.


    4) Things (not) to do when he is around.

    • Absolutely no caps lock, that makes you look like a retard.

    • You only have to type normally, properly and orderly, don't make yourself look stupid.

    • Do not panic, because he feeds on your fears.

    • Do not talk back at him, obey him, submit. This user is a full-dominant creature and if you fight back, he will retaliate 10 times stronger if need be.

    • He does not tolerate dense people, especially newfags, he knows when he sees one, so he will attack you immediately, do not take drastic measures and go into chat half-assed. He at least appreciates a newfag that takes time to read the guide, have a gravatar and setting up their profiles; he appreciates a user with their own personality.

    • If he starts talking to you normally, don't get startled, remember that he doesn't know everything of you.


    5) What to do when you encounter him?

    • Keeping quiet is a valid action.

    • You may run away from CL and if you do, please never return.

    • You may think that you can report him to staff, but know that most of such action will turn futile (remember the 5 times permanent ban? Yeah now you know).

    • You can start talking properly, because that isn't a phase where he kills you yet.

    • Don't get offended by what he says. If you decided to stay and learn more of this user, you will get used to it.

    • If you feel like attacking him, well go on ahead and feel the wrath (not recommended).


    6) The advantages you have against him.

    • He doesn't know who you are.

    • He is not a part of staff, so the most he can do is talk shit you to death.

    • Most of the people are not on his side when he starts attacking you on chat, unless if you asked for it.


    7) The advantages he has against you.

    • He's an old member that is known to people and has a very high reputation.

    • His words stand strong and almost unbeatable.

    • He never holds back and won't budge a bit by any means, so mostly whatever you say will be just a waste of energy.

    • He doesn't care what you think.

    • He has a shovel.


    8) The pros and cons of hanging out with him.

    PROS:

    • You will most likely see the side of him that you can agree a lot with.

    • You will find yourself tend to join projects and be more active on CL.

    • You will listen to his insights of the site more and what he has to say, if it has any meaning to you at all.

    • You will realize that you're the one over-reacting, and that he's not a bad guy at all.

    CONS:

    • If you get too close, you'll likely get your life ruined.

    • He still doesn't care what you think.

    • He also won't ask you how are you generally, unless if he cares (which is rare to be honest).

    • It's better off friending him because of a good conversation and remembering him for his personality, rather than sticking by too close, means closer to death to his shovel.


    9) Few safety precautions.

    • You do not have to agree with him all the time, you are more than welcome to disagree, and he does not care whatsoever anyway.

    • There are a few people you can seek shelter from, but not all the time they will shelter you (Names will not be given, find them yourself).


    10) Last advices.

    • You do not live to entertain the shovel lord. So don't take everything too seriously, it will eat you back.

    • Upon signing up to the site, always beware of Kirn.

  3. #916572015-08-28 07:58:10Lieutenant said:

    This thread may have its own flaws, such things can and will be improved in the future.

    Comments, suggestions, questions and sharings are allowed.

  4. #916592015-08-28 08:10:16 *Kirn said:

    Believe it or not, but I actually learned a lot from this. Now I know how to deal with Kirn and my CL life will soon surely become infinitely easier!

    (This should be represented in the Notices section, yep, yep)

  5. #916692015-08-28 17:02:29Rebel said:

    Haha... The most interesting person on this site and the only person I would consider a bit more Rebel than I ...

  6. #916782015-08-28 20:13:29Kirn said:

    @Taro_Tanako I think I told this story before, but anyways. Back in 2010, we had a thread called "Mod thread" or something, for more socially active mods to hang out, talk to each other and to other users. And at some point we decided that everyone should have distinct weapon. Drentii got a gun, I think. cyan got a nailpuller. And I decided on a shovel, because at the time I was often cleaning big amounts of 4chan spam, and it felt like shoveling snow.
    Also, for calling me hipster you will burn in hell even more painfully than you were supposed to.

  7. #917062015-08-29 04:37:19 *Kuroba_Loki said:

    Why doesn't dc have a thread like this, nor me, nor....most people on this site??

    hahahaha

    CL User Guide: Kuroba Loki

    lols XD

    Well, that waas quite enlightening

    ._____.

  8. #917342015-08-30 00:33:39 *Momimochi said:

    The ass-kissing is so strong in this. Same with the secondhand embarrassment that comes with reading first post after OP.

    Also just like to point out that:

    He's an old member that is known to people and has a very high reputation.

    I irl lol'd because let's face it, "a very high reputation" doesn't apply to most of the older members of the site. I guess if you're gonna bring back the "-fag" labeling of the eras, you'd be talking about midfags. Not even. LATE-midfags.

  9. #917352015-08-30 00:36:57 *Mau said:

    NOBODY FUCKING CARES OR SHOULD CARE

    THIS GUIDE IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

    THIS GUIDE IS WORSHIPING FOSSILIZED IRRELEVANCE.

    #STAYWOKE

    #HASHTAGLYFE

  10. #917362015-08-30 00:46:34 *Kip said:

    GREAT now the forum is gonna have to stretch its asshole and brace for the RECKONING.

    /grabs lawn chair and parks it

    i was having fun

  11. #917392015-08-30 00:54:32 *Mau said:

    THE SEVENTH BELL OF THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN RUNG.

    THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL FORETOLD IN THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS. IT'SHERE

    IT"S HEREEEEEEE

    THE END OF THE WORLD