"Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" - Charles Manson
Shovel from Hell badge by @OneDollar
Twice moderator, twice retired, five times permanently banned. All posts before 17.11.2012 were deleted by previous administration. Wielder of the Blood-Stained Shovel and the local sick evil fuck. Owner of the CL News, oldfag, terrorist, slayer of admins, veteran lurker and the person who gets things done no matter how many people would die in the process. Approach at your own risk.
Kirn joined on May 4th, 2010, since that has made 2191 posts that are still accessible today, 79 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, Kirn has given 2564 upvotes, and was last online on Sep 21st, 2017.
So, this is an indie game. This is kinda pixel-style graphics game. This is kind of a strategy game. And people who made it were probably using very serious drugs.
Basically, here's the deal. The game is real time strategy, which feels a bit like action type game at times. Your goal is to overpower enemy or, if that is not possible, to wait him out and see him exhaust his resources. But all this is wrapped in absolutely crazy setting. Do you know the premise of Animal Farm? Basically, this is it, but on grander scale. And with cannibalism.
So, at the time of the game, things are already as fucked up as they can be. Animal state is having food problems, as crops are all-time low, for many years now. So as act of desperate survival, all animals turn to eating meat. Yes, fucking all of them. And what meat? Well, animal meat - all animals are eating each other. Oh, and the pigs - everyone eats pigs, can everyone knows pigs are fucking dumb.
System called 'harvest' is in place, run by faction called 'Civilized', who somehow decide who gets eaten. But when they cull a son of a wealthy and influential land-owner, he gathers discontent animals and starts a rebellion against the current system, which quickly grows into 4-sided war.
The gameplay is actually simple. You got the gristmills - places around which you can build farms. You can capture more with food you produce, and you can buy animal burrows, which spawn your units. The trick is that you only control your leader unit - you can rally the troops to your position, you can rally specific type of troops, you can build, you can explore territory... and that's about it.
The idea is simple, but it actually makes for very fast-paced games with split-on-the-moment decisions. Do you build farms first or try to get at least one animal burrow going? Will your enemy find you before you finish fortifications? Can you afford to try and explore? Maps are randomized - with storyline maps retaining some specific story elements - so you can never be sure how exactly things are positioned. Plus, maps may have special rules, which change the game balance completely. Throw 4 enemies into that, and you will have a bloody battle. And the winner will feast.
I guess, I think, big fun part of the game are units. Your farms are tended by the pigs. Yes, upright-walking pigs. They farm. And when enemy approaches, pig will take out a gun and will shoot. It's a sight to see. And that's just a start. Drunken squirrels, tribal lizards, owl, puking zombie-looking mice, machine-gun pigeons, crazed inmate badgers, fox sniper, chameleon thugs and, of course, skunks as masters of chemical warfare. In storyline mode you will first associate some units with specific faction, but that's a mistake - in this world of treachery, even little cute drunk squirrels change sides, so you might see what you considered faction's unique unit switching sides and joining the enemy.
But in the end, what gets you is the story. Between missions you get to explore your faction 'rest area', where you can talk to other animals and check out some items, and honestly... Conversations are actually funny. There's a lot of humor there, in this game. But the whole premise, the whole story of animals eating each other so casually and desperately that they hope their own leaders to die to eat them, the whole spiral of darkness just taking you deeper and deeper into this bone-pit... Honestly, by the end it's get incredibly dark and depressing.
All in all? Extremely atmospheric game, with unique style, which also has some nice gameplay to show for it all. This game is not easy - both in moral terms and in terms of pure gaming difficulty. It does its own twist on real-time strategy genre, and it's being pretty well balanced.
Recommended for all hardcore strategies fans and those who like cute animals committing war crimes.
@Lieutenant I would argue that I have no beard. Other than that - this is pretty accurate.
Some of the silly young people at my workplace talk about their age like it is an actual old age, comparing themselves against the 'young people' and not even being that ironic about it. Coincidentally enough, it is also @Lieutenant's age now, so going by it - she is officially old. Congrats!
Anyways, a celebratory song is in order.
This AMV is for Noragami anime. Which, as I said before, I enjoyed more than I would have expected. Song is "Bills" by LunchMoney Lewis. And bot only it is good editing, following the melody, but the match is perfect, as in Noragami main hero is always looking for money (in 2 yen coins installments even). So, you know... bills.
Я надеюсь, что твоих детей сожрут волки.
Well, this is horrible. We dragged this from the start of the summer to right now. And now what we have is 1 match that just can't even happen. Bad thing is, if I kick both of you off I got noone to put on the first place. Also, Rebel, as the player who dropped down to lower bracket at some point, was supposed to have more fights in this game, but because so many people fucked off, he had the same amount of active fights that Grinners had. God fucking damnit. So, since there was a fight in which Rebel won, the brackets right now look like this exactly:
So, what do I do at this point? Well, first of all, I am closing the tournament, as it is not even Summer anymore. Technically, what we have is a draw between @Grinners and @Rebel, and personally I don't give a fuck how you will resolve it, but you are welcome to resolve it on your own. Want to have that final match to decide who gets the grandmaster badge? You are welcome to do it. Want to leave it at draw and to not get a badge or to both get the badge? You are welcome to do it. Resolve it among yourselves, contact @--Jack--.
I will compile a list of people who participated in fights and also will provide it to @--Jack-- soon so they would receive the usual chess badges.
All in all, this went worse than anything before it - amount of people who dropped out was immense, there were scissions of cheating and almost everyone took to long to have games. Summer was a true season of fail.
Anyways, thanks to all participants and all that.
If it was a draw, Rebel still needs his 2 wins, and you need just 1. Keep punching each other.
I am playing PC beta now, and it plays really well. Smooth, fast, I got zero complaints about performance. Gameplay takes a bit of getting used to, cause it's not exactly the usual FPS experience, but on technical side - pretty damn good.
Not that anyone ever cared, but deadline for this thing is... Summer. Meaning, when it's 1st of September, going by this site server time, we are officially done, whatever the outcome.