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99th percentile

"Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" - Charles Manson Shovel from Hell badge by @OneDollar

Twice moderator, twice retired, five times permanently banned. All posts before 17.11.2012 were deleted by previous administration. Wielder of the Blood-Stained Shovel and the local sick evil fuck. Owner of the CL News, oldfag, terrorist, slayer of admins, veteran lurker and the person who gets things done no matter how many people would die in the process. Approach at your own risk.


Art by @Shirosuke Art by @TeruShinozaki Art by @Izukio & @Kiboune Art by @Ecstasy Art by @Lieutenant

Kirn joined on May 4th, 2010, since that has made 2109 posts that are still accessible today, 77 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, Kirn has given 2480 upvotes, and was last online on May 24th, 2017.

  • In Which Games Are You Currently Playing?

    So. Horror... this one felt pretty much like The Horror Game of the year, cause it was descendant of the Outlast 1, which was pretty damn great and scary, and expectations were high. And developers tried to meet those. With the usual gameplay of night-vision camera and hiding from everything, they tried to create huge story and more intricate locations than there were in the first game.

    You are... no, you are not a journalist. Your wife is a journalist and you are her cameraman. You are following a story of a young woman murdered by some strange means and washed down the river. You hider a helicopter to explore the area in hopes of finding, where that woman could have floated from. Which is somewhere in forest-rich parts of Arizona. Along the way your helicopter crashes, and, even though you and your wife survive, turns up, you actually at the right place. Which is very very very bad for you.
    Oh, and also you are haunted by your past. Like, seriously fucking haunted.

    What can I say... I really feel like this game tried its best to just plainly disgust you at some points. And holy fuck, they do their job well. Gruesome imagery and even very creepy and uncomfortable imagery is ever-present. Along with some very touchy themes. We fuck about with religion, birth, diseases, child molestation and disfigurement. Which is actually pretty neat, cause you just see how much recreational drugs was poured into imagining all this.
    Problem is, game concentrates so much on the grotesque imagery, it totally loses the sense of reality and logic and even... resolution, I guess? I mean, sure, main character is obviously going mad along the way. But even though the game story escalates with our arrival to the area, it always feels like I am just a passive observer. And not only because I have a camera. I am just shown a lot of weird shit, and all I get is the feeling of complete inaptitude. Which is probably what the story goes for, especially considering the ending of the nightmare sequences. But it makes you want more...

    Gameplay is simple enough. You walk around, you get jump=scared, you lose your shit and either run away from danger or hide. All in all, it is more of a cinematic experience, than gameplay one. At times you start hallucinating about your horrors-ridden past, turning game to the dream-like sequences, where you meat the monster, and then you go back to the real world, and try to escape the people who are worse than monsters. It's nice.
    Again, however, I believe, too much emphasis was put on cinematic experience. There are not that many jump-scares. And yes, that coming from me, who hates those things. But really, the game could have more of those. And at the same time, there are not many sequences where you really have to hide carefully, changing hiding places. I mean, most of 'hiding' parts Ibeat by just siting in one place and then quickly running to the exit.

    The story... it's grand, for sure, but it is so messed up and detached from logic, that you can't feel serious about it at all. And the game feels very uneven. It's split into 6 chapters, but more than 1 half of the game you would spend in the 1st chapter, after which you are rushed through the final 4. Chapter 2 is pretty great, though, and I seriously loved being there and abused in all sort of funny disease-ridden ways. Seriously, good times. I'd say, if all of the game was more like chapter 2, this would have been a masterpiece. Instead chapter 1 is just about understanding your surroundings, and it's too long, and chapters 3-6 just rush you through the story enforcing the feeling of passive observation.

    All in all? Compared to Outlast 1, it can't hold its own. Outside of it? The gameplay is solid in not too easy. Graphics are good, and the imagery is absolutely fucked up, which is a serious plus. Same goes for story - the amount of fucked-upness is just superb. Logic and reason? No, leave those things outside please. And, for horror game, it's not scary, meaning it would disappoint those who actually enjoy getting that jump-scare rush. Still, funny experience in total.

    And as always: playlist of me hiding in the barrels, trying to escape the the dick-hating granny

  • In Famous People Deaths

    Roger Moore

    Born: 14 October 1927, Stockwell, London, England, UK
    Died: 23 May 2017, Switzerland (cancer)
    Age: 89

    I will say, dying of cancer sure sucks, but 89 is a damn decent age. Still, sad to know this one is gone, because this is the guy who was chose to be even more manly and dashing than Sean Connery. This guy is the Bond. James Bond. Agent 007. Pretty much he is the icon of the spy movies.
    After his iconic role, he never really got as famous, but he did got a break on USA screens in a movie together with Burt Reynolds. Also, you may know him from one of the Jean-Claude Van Damme movies - the Quest, where he plays a rather gentlemanly crook. But yes, pretty much - Bond. James goddamn Bond. Even today's movies like Kingsman are a not to the genre that this guy helped to create. And we are grateful for that.

  • In Songs inspired by games. For gamers from gamers.

    So, apparently Battlefield 1 got some France-related update... no idea, honestly, I don't keep up with that game. But here's a musical number for that update, that should be every Frenchman's wet dream:

  • In Durarara!! Survey & Light Novels

    I remember nice times, when you participated in shaming of people talking about Drrr. I guess, you regressed with time.

  • In How many tourists will Ukraine get this year?

    So. May. Difficult month in our realities.

    The usual financial report. Exchange rates are now fluctuation at around getting 26.06 hrivnas per dollar. In some places it's 26, it some you can get 26.3. This number has been more or less stable the past week.

    Now to real news. We were going to have some hard start of the month. To remind you 1st of May is international worker day, which recently is seen here as too communist, 2nd of May is date of when local neo-nazis burned pro-Russian protestors in my city, and 9th of May is the Victory Day. It is no wonder, that people were preparing, and internet was full of promises and threats. My city, as a 'risk zone' got 'secured'. Show of force have been seen in the days preceding the memorial dates:

    Typical occupant behavior, I can tell you that. Additionally, right before the 2nd, as always, police 'found' stash of grenades on the Kulikovo square, where the burning happened. Which was, as always, used to 'tighten security measures', which was, as always, used to limit the memorial proceedings as much as possible. Nothing new.
    Surprisingly, this time there were not many militant-looking youths, brought to my city from western parts of the country. And generally, day went calmer than it could have been. Radical opposition decided to show strength too, and on 5th of May we had a minor explosion in the 'Self-Defence Volunteers Center'. As always, noone got hurt, and those fuckers got what they deserve, but that's kinda just a few blocks from where I live. Oh well. We just have explosions and machine-gun vehicles driving around. At least we are not on the front line.

    9th of May got a bit more intense. There is 'Immortal Regiment' movement. Pretty much, patriotic movement, dedicated to remembering the times of WW2. They do marches with photos of both famous participants of the war, and their own relatives who were soldiers, participants of just victims in that time. And legally, in Ukraine they got permission to march too. And, of course, at the same time a fuckton of threats got sent to them, members of the movement responded with promises of equal protection for themselves... there was a lot of posturing.
    In the end it, again, went calmer than it could. In Kiev there was a fight, but nothing serious. In some other city, after more massive fights, local mayor declared he is shutting down giving of funds to veteran organizations. In Mariupol (another city where people got burned down, right after it happened here in Odessa) someone raised now illegal in this country red flag. In Odessa some nazi boy infiltrated the march and tried to raise a portrait of one of WW2 nazi collaborators, but was quickly kicked out. Actually, here even members of the city council joined the march, which gave a really good message to the people - even though we are and will be pressured from Kiev, not all city powers support those notions.

    What else... we kinda had Eurovision..... yeah.... you know what, I heard there was a fuckton of retardation on that one, but I take pride in never watching that bullshit show anyways, so I don't care. You can find your own news on that.

    We are given some money. USA gave us few million bucks, EU also did, all for reforming and stabilizing the government or some such shite. It's all political bullshit anyways. Funny thing though - this time USA specifically said not to give any money to Azov. Azov, in case you don't remember, is one of the local militant neo-nazi groups, who run unchecked in this country for years now.
    Speaking of them. Last week they captured around 80 Ukrainian citizens on 'suspecting in collaboration with separatists' grounds, including 20+ women, and are currently using them as free labor force in their staging camp.

    That shortly brings me to the combat situation. Generally, everything is the same - shooting, artillery strikes, while everyone around pretends not to notice. But there is still a thing about dead OSCE member. And now Lugansk forces claim they got evidence that the car was blown up by Ukrainian side. Case is being built up currently, so there are not many details, but they say they got intercepted communications about the bombing. But again, all that is the case in process.

    What else is funny... oh, the fact what we don't need visas to go to Europe anymore. Recently that became official and EU, making sure to remind that they can revoke this at any time, signed the final documents. Now, I will not write here how useless it is for this country, because that would take a lot of space and needless calculations... but here is something funny: Ukraine-Poland border checkpoint is now literally overrun. People go there, in their cars, thinking they really need NOTHING ELSE to come across, except for their passport. Which is untrue. But they just sit in a car, drive, stay there for 3 hours, cause of all the other idiots swamping there, some of them nose their nerve and turn around, blocking the road even more... and if some of them do makage to get to the border checkpoint, they are finally being told, that NO VISA AGREEMENT STARTS ONLY FROM 10TH OF JUNE AND IS NOT YET VALID!!!
    My country people are fucking idiots. And border people are screaming in frustration, and dread the upcoming 10th of June date.

    And the final retardation. In their constant fight against Russia, my government now signed the law that states that some Russian internet services must be blocked and never used again.
    List contains services (actually, that's where my CL email registered), Russian Fb-like sites (vkontake, odnoklassniki), yandex services (maps and search engine, I guess) and 1C products, including 1C Accounting set of programs... which are used literally by every other accountant in this country.
    Responce have been very uneven. I know mobile operators are blocking the sites and services already, which is natural, cause mobile operators are susceptible to government needs. But the general ISP companies pretty much say 'nope, can't do it'. They claim they don't really watch over net traffic and have no idea what sites are being visited, and it would take too much time and effort to even try. Well, everyone understands that if they actually start blocking Russian sites, they would lose half of their subscribers - those middle-aged ladies whose whole net-life is those fb-like fucking sites.
    So, for now we have a law in place, but it kinda not being implemented. For example, I am still using my account without any troubles. Plus, all those services immediately sent notices to their users... telling how to bypass stuff like that and keep using them.

    So that's how we do. May is almost over, Summer is soon, we are still idiots. Life goes on.

  • In CL User Guide: Kirn

    Yes, I do, in fact, have all that now. Should update the twitter more often.

  • In Weird World News

    Dutch king reveals he held part-time job as airline pilot

    The Dutch king has revealed that for more than two decades he has, alongside his royal duties, held down a part-time second job.

    In a newspaper interview published on Wednesday, King Willem-Alexander said that he recently ended his role as a regular “guest pilot” after 21 years on KLM’s fleet of Fokker 70 planes and before that on Dutch carrier Martinair.

    Now that's a nice way to relax. A lot of royals do pretty stupid stuff, but that guy decided to go and work to rest. Not bad for a hobby.

    “You have an aircraft, passengers and crew. You have responsibility for them,” the king told De Telegraaf. “You can’t take your problems from the ground into the skies. You can completely disengage and concentrate on something else. That, for me, is the most relaxing part of flying.”

    So yeah, that's weird, for a king to do stuff like that. But I think that's rather nice. We need more kings like that.

  • In What are your favorite ghetto memes

    Flagged, for reasons of you being a retard.

  • In CL Chess Club [Summer Tournament Starting June 3rd]

    Alright. So, first of all, here's a list of those who said they will participate. Not adding Baka or Sheep, cause they not sure yet. Also, not sure of Taro is participating, so did not add him.

    @Farris @Teru @Zyxx23 @Grinners @EvoRulz @Rebel @Koushiro @Wolfangle @AshitoKenji @holg0290 @ccc @Kirn @Lieutenant

    That's 13 people, and it would be nice to get some more, to get us up to 16 or higher. But anyways.

    Main announcement - tournament will start on the first Saturday of the Summer, so we are starting matches on the 3rd of June.
    Tournament will be a double elimination, as proposed by Taro. Meaning, even after losing once, you will have a chance to make a comeback. Tournament brackets will be prepared right before we start, when I will know for certain, how many people are going to play.
    For timeframe - as before, timeframe will be somewhat fluid. We will determine all the matches that need to be played in a round, and then you will have a week to play the games. When everyone finishes their game, we switch to next round, so round will take a maximum of a week, but might take less. I expect we would be done shortly after 1 month since we start.

    That's it for now.

    If you aren't on the list, but want to play - do confirm your participation. If you are on the list, but can't make that dates - also mention that here.

  • In Movies based on true stories.

    A Street Cat Named Bob (2016)

    So, first of all, this is a movie about a cat - what other justification you need? Second of all, this is a human interest story, basically a personal drama movie. But with cat! And also, it is apparently based on a true story.
    So, a guy is a junkie, he tried to get by playing on the street, social services get him housing, and there, on the edge of his willpower, he suddenly gets himself a stray ginger cat. And that cat became a sort of an anchor in his life, not to mention that bringing cat with him attracted more people and hence - he suddenly started doing well in life. Eventually he went clean, wrote a book and now lives in his own apartment and is working on raising awareness for drug abuse and homeless issues. All thanks to the cat, so, you know, hurray to the cat.
    Movie itself is pretty emotional. As I said, it's a human drama, the kind you expect to see, but with cat, which justifies it all. I cannot really say how true all of it is... but I can tell you that they had something like 7 cats playing the part, and one of those cats was the actual cat, the real Bob. So, that's cool. And I got a few articles on the matter, the one dealing with some additional dark family gossip, the one telling that some storylines of the movie - the girlfriend and the father storylines - were added for more movie drama and the one just talking about the guy and his cat. Up to you if you want to check one or all of them.

    Anyways. Cat saved man's life! Hurray to cat!