Run while you can!

Join a laid-back, close-knit community of mixed interests Get a free account!

99th percentile

"Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" - Charles Manson Shovel from Hell badge by @OneDollar

Twice moderator, twice retired, five times permanently banned. All posts before 17.11.2012 were deleted by previous administration. Wielder of the Blood-Stained Shovel and the local sick evil fuck. Owner of the CL News, oldfag, terrorist, slayer of admins, veteran lurker and the person who gets things done no matter how many people would die in the process. Approach at your own risk.

Art by @Shirosuke Art by @TeruShinozaki Art by @Izukio, background and blood by @Kiboune Art by @Ecstasy Arts by @Lieutenant

Kirn joined on May 4th, 2010, since that has made 2005 posts that are still accessible today, 75 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, Kirn has given 2373 upvotes, and was last online on Dec 2nd, 2016.

  • In Weird World News

    Workmen in Turkey find bear emerging from hole

    It is not uncommon for construction workers to discover strange things underground.

    But labourers at a site near a chicken farm in Bolu, Turkey, had the shock of their lives after they discovered the huge brown bear beneath the forest floor that they were working on.

    So yeah, imagine digging a hole, and then suddenly a bear. Then again, those guys are lucky they dig with machinery, in relative safety. However, it's exactly the machinery that pissed the bear off.

    It is clearly incredibly distressed by the loud machinery clattering around it, and is extremely aggressive at first.

    At first it tries to scramble to freedom of its own accord, scrabbling at the whole itself to try and make it wider.

    You know, we can't be sure if he was just hibernating there or not... However, it's possible, that bear was actually trapped. He clearly wants to get out, and instead of using any other exit, he tries to dig out existing hole. Meaning, he probably has no other exits.
    One can only guess how he got there, really.

  • In Famous People Deaths

    Fidel Castro

    Born: August 13, 1926, Birán, Holguin Province, Cuba
    Died: November 25, 2016, Havana, Cuba (natural causes)
    Age: 90

    It is time to say good buy to one of the most famous revolutionaries and Marxist–Leninist leaders of the modern history. Fidel! Daaaaaamn... That was the guy who pretty much organized communist-governed country right under the belly us the USA. And they hated it. The guy whose actions eventually raised tensions so high, it almost resulted in the nuclear war back when people still thought that it might possible be not such a bad idea. Fuck,. he had (allegedly) 638 attempts on his life made, and he died natural death, aged 90.

    He had balls of steel. Also beard. Possibly, beard of steel. He was a political titan of olde breed, and remained that was throughout his whole life. Hell, he stopped being president just something like 10 years ago, after 32 years of being one. He defied more things than most of you would ever learn about. It is sad to see this relic of cold war gone, but goddamn, he had a long run, and he lived his life in full.

  • In The CL Short Story Anthology: Vol.6: Download and Feedback Thread

    Okay, red through it.

    Gotta say right away - I cannot say that any story is particularly good. Each suffers from something or other, none can boast really good English... stuff like that. Still, it was good enough effort, because theme wasn't something that is easily done.

    Now, I will not single out anyone in particular here. Though, believe me, I can bash anyone's story in great detail, including my own. Pretty much we failed it all - relevance to the theme, readability, proper sentence structure, story logic... Some things more than others in different cases, obviously.

    What is good to see is that every story feels serious enough. Like, none of this was made for shits and giggles, so that's good. Well, Loki wasn't participating this time, so yeah. Probably CQKumber's story was the most funny and least serious, made me chuckle at least.

    Another interesting thing - a lot of 'heavy' themes. We have bisexuals, necrophiliacs and nazis. That's not bad score for number of controversial topics in one book.

    So yeah, we all failed - stories are bad, compilation took too long. But hey, points for effort, and it's good to see CL project brought to completion these days.

  • In Artists of Colorless


    no youre not until you got preggers

    The teen pregnancy statistics are laughing in your face.

  • In Movies based on true stories.

    War Dogs (2016)

    Okay, you will expect a really silly movie based on the trailer and the fact that it's from Hangover trilogy maker, right? Well, it is kinda damn fucking silly. And it is in fact based on a very true story. Well, you know how that young fuck made this silly thingy, which you all use now, called Facebook? Yeah, kinda that kind of story.
    At the end of the movie, in credits, they specifically claim, that the movie is based on the Rolling Stone magazine article, so here it is. And let me tell you right away what is bullshit in the movie. Pretty much, all shooting and gun-pointing is bullshit, added just to get some actual action in there. Main character's struggle with his wife? No fucking idea, probably also movie dramatization to get all you family demographics our there.
    What is real? Fucking hell, the fact that 2 20-something stoners landed major arms contract and became main arms merchants for Afghanistan deal organized under Bush administration. That alone is just as fucking silly as it sounds. The general story is true - two old friends meet, do business, work small deals, work their way up, land huge fucking deal, fuck about with Chinese ammo in fucking Albania. Yes, as silly as it sounds. The experiences arms dealer, played by Bradley Cooper in the movie, yeah, he based on a real person, and some of his deal details are represented fairly correctly in the film. Eventual falling out and final charges? Yes, true.

    This movie is made to be silly and presentable in Hollywood sort of way, but it does tell about something that is essentially exactly as silly and strange and kind of amazing, really. It's good fun, and it's fun to know that it actually happened.

  • In How many tourists will Ukraine get this year?

    @Lieutenant well.... to start of, this country isn't really holding on. It dies, while its leaders are trying to fuck each other over for everything that is left. This is really the same as some warring African country now. We kinda survive, but we don't really hold on. We lose a lot. And we were given enough money from the west to survive, but that was mostly stolen by the same leaders.

    Also, Ukraine was extremely well off. It was one of major USSR republics, and a fuckton of stuffs was left here, including a lot of cool factories. Plus, we here always had really good and rich land - we grew a lot of stuff. Over time (25+ years since the fall of Soviet Union now) we sold what we had and squandered other things. But still, we had a lot, most of which got lost for good in these past years.

    Also, to skip ahead. We have 40 mil of population now. We used to have more. Look at this:

    But yeah, your country is overpopulated as fuck.

    And for the main question... You see, in these 25 years, Ukraine was under heavy ideological influence. These past years are just rapid culmination of this. But the point of it was to pester strong anti-Russian tendencies. So, even if USA would just fuck off completely, this country is broken and would at the same time violently reject open Russian help, while being unable to recover on its own... Quite honestly, I can't really see solution for us.

    I always said, that Ukraine should have tried to be the bridge between east and west, without swaying to any single side. Geographically and politically we had a perfect spot, idea for trade relation. Hell, the amount of smuggling that always went through here was always insane and highly lucrative... But, sadly, outside influence was strong, and we swayed, and now we find ourselves in this situation.

  • In The Science Thread

    This rocket engine breaks a law of physics. But a NASA test says it works anyway.

    If this is not bullshit, this is pretty damn sweet - EM propulsion is a real science fiction stuff. Let's hope they get this working.

  • In The CL Short Story Anthology: Vol.6: Download and Feedback Thread

    Finally! You should sticky this up on frontpage instead of previous one now. But yeah, well done with completing this thing.

    I guess I will take time to read this on upcoming weekend and see about posting some proper feedback.

  • In How many tourists will Ukraine get this year?

    Hello, one and all. Now, you may noticed, that I do these things like once every 2-3 weeks... But we had a lot of stuff going on this week, so yeah, just 1 week break between these posts.

    First of all. Dollar now costs 26.6 hrivnas. And that's if you won't walk around looking for better rate. You can get as much as 27.3 hrivnas for a dollar if you look hard enough. Our currency is experiencing new rapid fall which was going on specifically this week.

    Why? Trump. As I read the news, Trump is currently reason for everything happening in the world, and for us that's no exception. But the reason is a bit more substantial than that.

    After Trump was elected, one former USA ambassador to Russia said that "the main losing side today is one - Ukraine". Not exact quote, but that's how it is. With Trump in power, USA is more likely to cooperate with Russian - perhaps even cut some sort of a deal, concerning spheres of influence in Syria and Ukraine. Our only role was to provoke Russian and demonize it for other world, but we failed, and now we are being cut off, because, quite honestly, we cost too much. And the only country that even needs us is actually Russia, for simple reasons of us being right at its borders. Russia needs countries along its borders to be stable.

    And we do cost a lot. Currently Ukraine is declared to be the most corrupted country in the world. And, as you may know, one of the 'requirements' for us to be 'considered' for non-visa entry to EU (which is still part of government rhetoric) was getting rid of corruption. So we created six official anti-corruption departments already, each of them more corrupt than the next, each of them fighting each other.

    Btw, no non-visa agreements for us. Europe kicked Ukraine in the balls by stating that this matter can't be considered until we actually figure out and implement Minsk agreements about Novorosia regions. And we all know that will never happen. So yeah, I guess Europe was thinking long and hard about what impossible task to give us.

    But Europe giving up on us is not their personal decision. It is all tied to USA, which, as I said, will see us as useless and too costly. One proof of that is the fact, that CIA and FBI agents in our country... oh, btw, yeah, we had those. We had official contingent of CIA and FBI agents located in our General Court and Security Service buildings. You know, helping us work properly, and all that. So, most of those people left last week - relocated to Romania and Czech Repiblic. Which shows, that USA is not interested in controlling what we do anymore, and they will just let us self-destruct now. It's easier to just let Russia deal with our shit now.

    Even UN is being less on our side now. Here read this article, full of pro-Ukrainian bullshit, but this tells briefly about the matter. On 15th UN adopted resolution condemning Russia's 'occupation' of Crimea. But here's a thing, same resolution was adopted in 2014, and then of was supported by 100 countries, with 11 being against it and other abstaining or not participating at all. Today 73 countries are condemning Russia and 23 are against the resolution. Which is actually a major shift. So, yeah, one more place where we lose world support.

    Well, things aren't shifting too fast, either. For example, Obama will go to Europe with his last presidential tour, and he will talk to Europe leaders about continuation of sanctions against Russia and, maybe, about support for Ukraine. Because that's what people who paid for his brown ass interested in - for USA and Russia to fight in any and all situation. So now he will try to at least leave that message to others.
    Additionally, and this is a funny thing, USA found ally in Ukraine in one thing - Nazism glorification. Here's short article about that resolution, which is proposed by Russia, and which speaks about problem of neo-nazism being an actual thing in quite a few countries. It is quite open in Ukraine, of course, and also in Baltic countries, and it gets right in the government.
    Now, obviously, USA voted against it for 2 reasons:
    1. Because resolution was proposed by Russia. That's the main thing.
    2. Because USA never was bothered by Nazism, and uses it in its interests.
    Btw, third country that voted against - Palau - is a small island nation of less than 20000 people, that is completely dependent on USA. Now Ukraine - 40+ million of people, country with biggest territory in Europe - proudly joined that cock-sucking circle. Glory to us.

    Now, let me turn my head to Russia now. What Russia doing? Despite the fact that Ukraine sends saboteurs to Crimea, Russia is out to help us, no matter how hard we struggle. I talked about Kherson region a lot here, and there's a city there called Henichesk. And that city got left completely without gas - just none left. And noone providing them any. That already happened last winter, in the middle of January 2016, and then Russia provided a bit of gas from Crimea. Well, not it happened again, and much sooner.
    Thing is, gas storage facilities that were used on the regions borders are now not used on Ukraine side. Used to be, it was stored there before moving to Crimea, when it was part of Ukraine, but now that Crimea is back to Russia, facilities are not used, and in turn that city in close vicinity isn't getting gas pumped in too. Well, I am not an expert, but it is something like that.
    So, Henichesk people wrote to Russia, asking to provide a bit of gas again, or they all die. Russia agreed again and started pumping gas to them from Crimea. Immediately Ukraine Security Service swoop down, accused everyone of separatism and closed off the pipe. And local pro-Ukrainian politicians were quick to make video-statements about this place 'having enough gas always, and no, Russia lies about pumping any gas to here'.
    So yeah, when choosing between death of population and publicly accepting Russia's help, my government is ready to kill everyone.

    Oh, and while all this is happening, we got another maidan gathering in Kiev. As I wrote before, people are gathering on streets, and there are both people like teachers and militant nazi fucks. Crazy mix. And some of the local parties leaders decided to take control of that mob to kick current government. And don't get me wrong, it's the same people from the same anti-Russian government, but these guys feel they didn't get enough from the money we received, so they want to make a grab for power.
    Most notably, there are Timoshenko and Lyashko. Now, Timoshenko is well-known politician bitch, who was prime-minister twice, but these days she lost most of her power - her party isn't strong in parliament, and she can only act like support to any government coalition. Her one big break was getting Savchenko into her party, but that backfired, cause Savchenko turned out to be what she is - crazy bitch, just like Timoshenko, and already brought a lot of criticism on party itself. Lyashko on the other hand is a leader of radical party, and he never even tried to hide the fact that he is crazy. I mean, the fucker tends to walk around with pitch-forks like some cartoon character. And he, while being one of the major players of previous maidan, is offended by the fact that, in latest government we got here, he wasn't given big enough part. So he tried to fight leader of some other party, got his ass kicked (I am not talking politics, they just had a fist-fight), but that didn't stop him from being vocal about overthrowing current president.
    And those two are looking like the main force to organize next maidan. Problem is, USA isn't financing this one, so goings are slow. Lyashko tries hard to gather people using his enthusiasm - that's one this he has in abundance, the fucker is just loud. Timoshenko is acting more quiet, looking for money sources. And the fun thing is, while trying to gather people against Poroshenko, they are also actively fighting each other. Calling each other Putin's friends and accusing each other of undermining Ukraine government. But as stupid as they look, again, they are the idiots who will most likely lead new maidan.

    Well, that is, if maidan ever happens, because Poroshenko gathering tanks in Kiev, and I am pretty sure, if real maidan would happen, this government will do what they accused Yanukovich of doing - just shoot at people using everything they got. And seeing how there are representatives of militant bands in the mob there, people will definitely shoot back.

    I can't wait, really.

  • In [Life] Message to anyone!

    Quite honestly, I didn't feel it warranted a separate thread to bash on Momi. I will bash on her some more if there ever comes a time when she unlocks the thread to show off her 'completed project'. I can make a new thread some time in the future about how projects are dead on CL in general, with the ritual burying and everything. We'll see.