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99th percentile

"Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" - Charles Manson Shovel from Hell badge by @OneDollar

Twice moderator, twice retired, five times permanently banned. All posts before 17.11.2012 were deleted by previous administration. Wielder of the Blood-Stained Shovel and the local sick evil fuck. Owner of the CL News, oldfag, terrorist, slayer of admins, veteran lurker and the person who gets things done no matter how many people would die in the process. Approach at your own risk.


Art by @Shirosuke Art by @TeruShinozaki Art by @Izukio & @Kiboune Art by @Ecstasy Art by @Lieutenant

Kirn joined on May 4th, 2010, since that has made 2198 posts that are still accessible today, 79 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, Kirn has given 2572 upvotes, and was last online on Oct 20th, 2017.

  • In How many tourists will Ukraine get this year?

    Well, two more weeks, some more stupidity. Dollar exchange rate is now 26.10 hrivnas for 1 USD (just looked outside the window), and I can find 26.20 exchange rate too, if I want. I did, actually, find bank that offers even better rates, and it just so happened that it was bank in the building with local OSCE representative. I imagine, they figured that them OSCE people will receive their funds in dollars, and will need to pick a bank to exchange them to local currency, so they offer a slightly better deal than every bank around.

    Well, anyways, let's get to actual news.

    It is said, that FSB keeps searching for some uncaught Ukrainian saboteurs. Two of them. Last I heard, their photos were posted. Don't know if they are caught now.
    But that whole deal with Ukraine trying to covertly attack Crimea did backfire on us quite a bit already. Most notably, "Normandy 4" - group of 4 countries leaders that talk about Minsk agreements - is not pretty much Normandy 3, cause Poroshenko is out of the negotiations process. Now leaders of Russia, Germany and France just talk it out between themselves.
    Actually, that's the only way to achieve any diplomatic solution with Ukraine now - to exclude my country from negotiations. For this whole year Ukrainian politicians yell about how we do not need Russian gas. All while overclocking local nuclear station, constantly increasing chances of that blowing up. But fact is, we do need Russian gas, and now Europe is in negotiations with Russia to resume gas deal like it was before. So, Europe is talking business on behalf of my retarded country, so my country wouldn't freeze to death.

    Speaking about outside help. We still waiting for money from IMF. Well, no, we still waiting for IMF to actually start making it look like they are talking about giving us money. But I kinda think that won't happen now, because some of our politicians - most notably governor of my region - already claim that 'Ukraine should refuse IMF help and stand on its own two legs!' Which is a very silly rhetoric, because we can't stand on our own now, and this is just the usual thing my government says now when it understands we aren't getting something...
    So yeah, we totally should live without gas, electricity, food and money. Will make us stronger. Yep. I think one thing we aren't refusing outright is hope that we could go into Europe without visas. Which was kinda the whole political basis of these idiots protesting on maidan two years ago. So they can't get it go, even though everyone with a brain realizes how improbably it is now.

    Hmmm... let's talk about war situation. 1st of September is the date of the start of yet another cease-fire. Nobody really believes in that one lasting for any good amount of time, but we shall see. Actually, Lugansk recon squads report that some of the voluntary Ukraine batalions are being moved away from the front lines. It's theorized, that they might be moved to Kiev in anticipation of disorder and new protests there. Or, quite possibly, they are sent there to help organize those protests.
    Also, while it hasn't happened yet, there are a lot of talks about possible next mobilization wave. They even talk about possibility of mobilizing people from first 3 waves, who went to the east of the country and managed to return. Like, 'we need experienced soldiers to oppose Russian thread' bullshit.
    Meanwhile, Russia also gathers its forces closer. Obviously as part of army training, you know. It's all mostly grandstanding of Russia vs NATO, but if situation changes appropriately, those are the forces that will fight here.

    Just a funny thing. One of Ukrainian field commanders sent to HQ letter requesting a horse. And 2-month worth of horse feed. Cause he got no car and needs to check up on military posts.
    Also, Kiev is suing French delegates who traveled to Crimea. That's what we do when someone goes to what we feel is out region (which it isn't, not for a long time now) - we yell and sue. Europe isn't really impressed.

    All in all, these 2 weeks were relatively calm. Sure, we are slowly slipping down, war is going... but that's nothing new. I guess, we shall see how cease fire will go and what will happen during this month political talks between countries that actually matter.

  • In Marvel's Captain America: Civil War

    Well, I finally watched it. And... yes, team Iron Man, all the way. He was right exactly from the beginning, he was the reasonable one, for a change, at the start of the movie, and he was the one hurt the most in the middle and at the ending. All while Cap was throwing a tantrum.

    Here's a fun thing: this time there was a distinctive lack of anything really major happening. Lemme explain. Avengers - New-York gets destroyed. Cap: Winter Soldier - 3 carriers get dropped on Washington. Avengers 2 - whole city is thrown into the planet. Hell, they shown all of that in this movie as examples of destruction.
    But nothing like that in here. At most, a building in Africa got blown up. And that's because this time they fight between each other, and not against some villain. Villain are megalomaniacs, and make huge stuff that explodes fantastically. Heroes themselves are actually much less flashy.
    That's what was lacking, I think. Zemo is not a usual megalomaniac villain, so there's no huge doomsday plot. And that's why even at the huge 12 superheroes battle it felt like the scale is not like it used to be. I am not saying that it's necessarily a bad thing, but it's certainly uncommon for a superhero movie.

    Also, I will go out and say it right fucking here: I liked Spiderman. Mostly because I pretty much hated how they did Spiderman in both previous franchises. Too much fucking teen angst. This guy is so much simpler and closer to the core of what I consider right Spiderman character... He is fun, he never shuts up, he kicks ass. Minus all the bullshit drama.
    I am also somewhat intrigued by the Black Panther character. Mostly because he looks cool as fuck. Black, yep. As far as I know, they are making movie for him specifically, so that would be interesting to watch, I imagine.

    All in all... I think, this can be a transition to a more grim setting for these movies. Though, maybe not. For all we know, for next Avengers movie they all may immediately recover and be good buddies again.

    Oh, also, have a cheat-sheet for Marvel movies: Though, it's from 2015, so some speculation is already incorrect.

  • In Famous People Deaths

    Gene Wilder, Star of 'Willy Wonka' and Mel Brooks Classics, Dies at 83

    Born: 11 June 1933, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
    Died: 29 August 2016, Stamford, Connecticut, USA (complications from Alzheimer's disease)
    Age: 83

    Yes, some of you people know this guy only for this meme picture. But he is the original Willy Wonka, and just as wacky as Depp, who did this role in a later remake. He is the Leo Bloom in iconic Mel Brooks movie 'The Producers' (1968). He is the Dave Lyons from 'See No Evil, Hear No Evil' (1989)...
    Great comedy actor, good friend of Richard Pryor (yeah, you probably have no idea who that it either) and Mel Brooks, this guy represented a whole era of comedy as it developed. Sadly, he apparently had Alzheimer's disease, which was the cause of death. 83 is a venerable age, but it's still sad to know that another legend is now gone forever. He was a ton of laughs.

  • In Stellaris

    So, few months in, and the game got quite a few updates. These guys are keeping on with their promise to support the game after release with improvements and new features.

    Currently game had 2 major patches - Clarke and Asimov. In those they fixed quite a few bugs, reworked space fighting system, balanced out the game, added more diplomatic options, fixed sector AI behavior, fiddled with UI... a lot of work was done. I even had to start my games from scratch a few times, just to enjoy all new features right from the start.

    They also made a plantoids race pack - nothing much, just a cosmetic thing that ads racial portrets and ship designs for living trees races. You can now yell 'I am Groot!' proudly into the galaxy.

    Now they are working on the next major patch - Heinlein - which will bring even more changes. They will include auto-exploration functions and rally points - which will help automate some ship management later in game. They will completely rework special resources, which I hope will ne done well. They will rebalance and rework ships again, making every type of ship good for a specific role, forcing players to include more types of ships in their fleets instead of just spamming a single successful design. They are even reworking planet types and their habitability.

    So yeah, a lot of rebalancing is going on, and I will, once again, restart the game when that time comes. Should be worth it, since for now all their patches added pretty good stuffs into the game.

  • In Which Games Are You Currently Playing?

    Recently there's a lot of games - quests, usually - that come out not completed at once, but in episodes. I think, Telltale Games made that idea really popular, and now that's a pretty common way to quests to be released. In cases like that, I usually wait for all episodes to be released, and then just play them all at once, getting full game experience. So, recently I got me another one of these...

    This is a story about girl named Max, who just turned 18 and recently returned to her hometown to attend a prestigious photography class in local high-school, since she wants to be a famous photographer. After experiencing bizarre nightmare about huge tornado destroying the town, she suddenly finds out she has power to rewind time. Which she proceeds to use to fix big and small injustices around her, along with her old-time friend Chloe. All while thinking about upcoming prophesied tragedy.

    I have to admit this right here, at first the game didn't grab me at all. It's kinda hard to get excited about being 18 y.o. girl whose main artistic expression is taking selfies. And, to add to it, a lot of the characters you will interact with are high-school students, same age as the main heroine, speaking like kids do these days, and absorbed into their own silly high-school drama. Which is what you will have to deal with most of the time.
    Additionally, I often don't trust games involving time travel, because they are impossible to keep logical, and at some point things would get completely ducked up and out of hand. Though, I have to give credit here, game itself understands that and uses that to its own advantage.

    Let's take a break from talking about story (I will return to that) and talk technical details. As I said, this is an episodic game, so even if you get full version, it's separated into episodes. It plays like you would expect a quest to play, though, it's one of those games where story just progresses, without any real puzzles, so it's more of an interactive narrative where you make choices that change stuff later in the game.
    Game does not have save feature. Instead, you use your time rewind ability to get the desired outcome. Which his the main mechanics of the game. You would talk to someone, and they won't reveal information you need. But you can get a clue from that conversation, rewind time, and start that conversation from the start, this time using that clue to get more out of dialogue. Also you can prevent (and set up) some events like that. And you can also use that ability to solve some of the spacial puzzles. When you rewind, game tends to show you the parts of the timeline where you made some important choices that could be remade.

    In terms of graphics, game is alright. It's not too impressive, but since photography plays important part here, there are some nice visuals, majestic, funny and sad. Upcoming tornado looks damn impressive, and it's preceded but some other weird shit which also provides for some nice imagery.
    Music of the game is very nice, and plays quite a big part in creating the atmosphere. This is one of those games where you really notice the tunes that are played, and the full soundtrack already got a shitton of views on youtube.
    To add some complaints here, I had some recurring problems with the game. Quite often, while character would speak, their mouth wouldn't move. And also, in all scenes that were video and not rendered, only music would play, but not other sounds or voices. I didn't miss out on the story, cause I had subtitles on, but it was still frustrating. Perhaps that is because I pirate my games, so I hope that problem doesn't persist in the proper release.

    So, going back to the story, game fully deserves its name. The events are indeed weird. And it escalates quite a bit in later episodes. I have to be honest, even though I didn't get into it at first, story and character development eventually grabbed my interest. Some events are very predictable, some aren't. It's a mixed bad or teen drama and some very serious shit.
    Time travel is being... well, time travel. As game develops, you get more power, at few times pretty much going into separate timelines. Funny thing is, the game, at a few points, just overrides what you have been doing before. Which can be frustrating at the time, when you really start thinking about it.
    Still, while the game does not explain a lot of things, and while you may have questions about the logic of what is happening, in the end the whole time-traveling shenanigans are tied up and resolved in the way that I can call satisfactory enough. I won't spoil the ending, but it does teach us important lesson about time-travel.

    The game isn't long - each of its 5 episodes is just around 2 hours. Together they amount to decent enough gameplay. I'd say, game is enjoyable, if you can get into its theme and story. And for those deciding to try it out, my advice is - even if you don't like it immediately, try playing through it a bit. It does get better from the beginning.

  • In The Milo Thread

    One should just use a shovel to grab a spoonful of milo.

  • In The Colorless News (Issue #13)

    Nah. Back in good old days I did 7-pages long rants. But we had properly retarded staff then.

  • The Colorless News (Issue #13)

    The Colorless News

    (27.08.2016, Issue #13)

    Staff missing, send help!

    There was a big break between CL News Issues number 12 and 13, for one simple reason. CL News mostly deals with major site developments and changes in CL staff. And in recent year, there was not many events worth noticing. Things have looked so calm, in fact, that it raised the question of being that lack of news news-worthy all in itself. However, in this state of calm something was missing. And, as it turned out, it’s a big part of staff that is missing.
    Now, missing may not mean they are actively missing from CL. But the contribution would certainly be something that’s not apparently seen. And CL rangers are the obvious first target in that area. MrTingles, who was made ranger after his step down from mod position, haven’t been active on chat. Lycan remains a shameful spon on the whole CL staff history, acting only when it’s in his own interest. Kiboune exists only on ru channel. And we even have OneDollar, who is rangered for no reason other than making badges, and who isn’t ranger in any official capacity. Things with that group are a real mess.
    Going up one level, we have moderators. On the outside, things look better here, with project participation and even organization, and somewhat active presence on chat. Even Gwynn – who was the least active moderator – is now having bigger presence on the site. However, what can be said about the actual moderator work recently? One can argue, that there was no need for moderator action recently, and it is certainly true, but what if there is? It is known, that the chat argument may remain unstopped even with moderator present. It is also known, that timezone coverage remains lacking. Even more so with only 4 mods left. And Rinneko remains a single Asian moderator, while 3 others are located in US, leaving Asia timezone only partly covered and EU timezone completely empty.
    But it’s well-known fact, that moderators state represent the state of admins. And here is where the trouble is. Admin presence on site is currently almost non-existent. Warlock, while appearing on chat at times, remains very inactive and had only 4 forum posts in last 7 months. There are rumors of him making new CL site, and he can be reached through staff, currently the head admin is very hard to see. Which the second admin is completely missing. Kip had no forum posts in the past 6 months, and was last seen on CL more than month ago (preceded by another month+ period of not even opening the site page). Her participation is staff affairs is also non-existent, meaning that unbanning Kirn remains her main act as CL admin, and no better contributions were made, not for a long time. While reasons for her absence – which we will not discuss here – are understandable, lack of warning before disappearing and the fact that the site now has ‘ghost’ admin are quite disturbing.
    Years ago, CL’s problem was overblown staff. That was the problem that DC started to fix, when he was Admin, but it now seems like staff got too small, and perhaps even powerless. Which leaves community to tend for itself. Perhaps, with the state of CL now, this is enough. Perhaps, not.

    Colorless project. Slow, but, hopefully, kicking.

    While things on CL are slow, site still manages to put out some projects, though not it a very active way. After Second Colorless Chess Tournament, it is again time for singing and writing. Pokemon Theme Song, aptly made during Pokego hype, recently got completed, combining efforts of 9 singers, 2 editors and some additional guests. Brave Shine chorus, which will use Fate/Grand Order art for video, is now in the video-editing stage. Which will last a while, as Momimochi – manager and only editor of the project – stated, that video will take from 1 to 1.5 months to make. Writing project, with Love and War being the current theme, seems to be having some troubles. Due to the lack of submissions, Jack has extended the project deadline, which happened 11 days ago. Since then there was no activity on the thread.

    Issue #13, from 27.08.2016
    Staff: Lurker-reporter, editor, designer – @Kirn
    The Colorless News is the property of Lurkers inc.
    If it is publicly posted - we will use it with your name in it.
    Anonymity of private informants is guaranteed.
    We know where you live.

  • In Durarara General

    So here's a fun fact. I wanted to write up some of my thoughts about the Drrr 2 Ketsu (seriously, who the fuck even makes up those names?), but we don't have thread for it. And I am NOT going to make one, so fuck you, I am necrobumping this thread here. Seems appropriate.

    So. Drrr 2 fucking Ketsu... One thing I have to say immediately - I actually liked it. I really enjoyed it much more than I expected to. Well, partly I can blame the lowered expectations after Shou and mostly Ten... yeah, no, fuck it. It will be Drrr 2.1, 2.2 and 2.3. Much more convenient. So yeah, Drrr 2.1 had a really long build-up, but last eps actually were a blast. 2.2 on the other hand was pretty much crap all the way, and who the fuck are even all those people they brought there? I never even bothered to remember them all. But 2.3 keeps up the action for all the length of it, returns the proper characters and is actually interesting and funny.

    Also, some of the new characters are actually decent. Chikage Rokujo is good man, and doing good things after Kadota knocked some sense into him. Vorona overthinks things, but is never hesitant about taking action. Kasane Kujiragi has her own charm and kick-ass ability, which looks damn sweet. They are alright.

    What else... I do like to see 2 out of 3 main idiots of the show getting kicked. Kida got kicked quite literally, at first, by Ran... and I mean, really, that guy broke his hand with his head, and I went like "yeah, serves him right!".. and then Kida got mentally beaten by Chikage, which amounted to what every normal person watching this anime was saying for years now, and which goes something like this: "boy, you acted like slowpoke idiots all this time..." I mean, someone just had to finally tell that to one of them.
    Anri didn't get kicked physically (because really, who would kick a glassed girl with huge tits?), but she sure had enough talking to in that chapter. And I do enjoy that her last talking to was given by Kadota, reasonably explaining to her what's what. Too bad there was not many Kadota scenes this time, though. But he did good. Got out of coma, and immediately ran away from hospital. That's something very relatable for me. And he remains the voice of reason through the series.

    Mikado, however, did not have anyone to just hit him on the head and say 'hey, you act like a complete retard', so we got what we got, which was cripple vs weakling fight. And I am very very very sad that he didn't die in the end. Mikado remains most hated character of the show for me.

    Btw, I noticed, a whole lot of people ended up injured by the end of this. Kadota, Kida, Shizuo. I guess, that's the plot device, so they wouldn't just straight-up overpower their respective opponents towards the end of the season. Though, Shizuo still overpowered as fuck, obviously. Actually, even Vorona got her leg injured before going against karate girl (who the fuck is that character anyways?). So yeah, it's certainly a recurring theme this time.

    Main villain sucked, though. I mean, I couldn't even remember who was that guy until the very end, and then I was 'what? this is the villain of the season? are you shitting me?' Then again, he ended up being stab-fucked to death. Quite literally... So it's all good, I guess.

    In any case. Show obviously has it flaws, but they really cleaned up their act since 2.2, so I would say, this is a decent enough ending. And really... there are some really good stuffs there.

    Like Kida breaking his arm. Can't be happy enough about it.
    Like Shingen hiring doubles, or trying to throw head and failing pathetically. I mean, who even does that!
    Like Simon explaining "Это зомби. Укусит, станешь таким же." during Saika invasion, like an expert.
    Like Erika hiding in plain sight by using red eye lenses and totally missing the point.
    Like Shinra kidnapping scene, which was all awesome, and later Shinra reacquiring his love, which was also pretty damn awesome.
    Like Namie finally finding her true calling as an internet hater.
    Like Togusa, realizing he's the only normal person in the apartment.
    Like Shizuo, riding the black rider's... bicycle... of death... into action... yeah.

    Not bad at all!

  • In All about Shado

    So, how the fuck is this public masturbation not locked yet?