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99th percentile

"Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left" - Charles Manson

alt textShovel from Hell badge by @OneDollar

Twice moderator, twice retired, four times permanently banned. All posts before 17.11.2012 were deleted by previous administration. Wielder of the Blood-Stained Shovel and the local sick evil fuck. Owner of the CL News, oldfag, terrorist, slayer of admins, veteran lurker and the person who gets things done no matter how many people would die in the process. Approach at your own risk.

Art by @Shirosuke Art by @TeruShinozaki Art by @Izukio, background and blood by @Kiboune Art by @Lieutenant Art by @Ecstasy

Kirn joined on May 4th, 2010, since that has made 1396 posts that are still accessible today, 58 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, Kirn has given 1751 upvotes, and was last online on Jul 24th, 2015.

  • In ShindanMaker

    Kirn's Jaeger is CHERNO VENGEANCE

    Actually, would be correct. Russian jaeger, and I do like me some vengeance.

  • In Weird World News

    Are you afraid of zombies? Well, stop being afraid, because Pentagon has a plan to save you. No, seriously.

    Everything you need to know about the U.S. military’s defense strategy to protect humanity from the walking dead.

    The U.S. military has always been the one place in government with a plan, forever in preparation mode and ready to yank a blueprint off the shelf for almost any contingency. Need a response for a Russian nuclear missile launch? Check. Have to rescue a U.S. ambassador kidnapped by drug lords? Yup, check, got that covered. How about a detailed strategy for surviving a zombie apocalypse? As it turns out, check.

    Incredibly, the Defense Department has a response if zombies attacked and the armed forces had to eradicate flesh-eating walkers in order to "preserve the sanctity of human life" among all the "non-zombie humans."

    Buried on the military's secret computer network is an unclassified document, obtained by Foreign Policy, called "CONOP 8888." It's a zombie survival plan, a how-to guide for military planners trying to isolate the threat from a menu of the undead -- from chicken zombies to vegetarian zombies and even "evil magic zombies" -- and destroy them.

    And all I can really say to this is........

    And yes, do check out the link, there's more funny text there.

  • In Psychology: Left-Brainers and Right-Brainers

    Got it about equal.

    Left side got 56, right side got 44.

    Feels to be too simple for this kind of buggery though. I mean, it takes about 30 seconds to finish this. Test are entertaining, but they really could be way more extensive.

  • In Famous Attractive People Thread or the FAP Thread

    Alright, I can't believe I am posting on this fucking thread, but apparently I have to, since we already have this thread and it matches my current purposes. Well, I may as well add some quality here.

    Tim Roth and Garry Oldman one time went really wild with writing messages to each other

    Apparently, they wrote messages to each other on their bodies. Here's how it went:

    In a magazine interview, Gary Oldman was asked to name certain people who he thought to be attractive, and among others he mentioned Tim Roth. (They were in some good movies together and were good friends)

    Tim Roth heard about that and wrote on himself (not sure where, no photos available. Arm or a head, they say) "G. O. I think you're sexy". And provided that as a picture for one magazine.

    Garry Oldman replied from the cover of the "Premiere" magazine, may 1994 edition. We have those pictures.

    Tim Roth thought about that for a while, after which he made another photo for April 1995 issue of Detour. This is it:

    Their messages-exchange ended rather weirdly with another guy joining in. In the September 1995 issue of Bikini magazine, Eric Stoltz can be found... well, here's a picture for you, really, it says it all.

    After that the messages stopped. Or maybe they just decided on another method.

  • In Wildstar

    Hey there. By now you may be well into the open beta... Or not. But anyways, wildstar dev team finally released the proper promotional video on... raids!
    Now, I already covered the awesomeness of dungeons in this game. But here is exactly the thing I am going in this game for. This is the thing that will make weaklings cry and raidleaders ragequit. This is what I hope will be the ultimate challenge for my personal skill of running the fuck around and killing stuff! This... well, fuck it, just watch the AoE layouts in this video!

  • 3 movies about things to do before death.

    Hello, one and all! Some time ago I made this thread with 3 very good movies. Now, obviously, there are a lot more thoughtful films out there, so I decided to make another list of three movies. This list has movies that explore the idea of untimely death and spending the time before you die the best way you can.
    What I noticed when I looked over these three movies - they all deal with two people. I guess, that's a simple enough story decision. It's not interesting and not fun at all to see a person dying alone. But when you have a pair of people, talking, arguing, supporting each other.. yeah, that works way better. The characters need each other to express their thoughts to somebody, see. And I guess having more than two is really not needed for these kinds of films.
    Well, anyways. Let's get to the movies themselves:

    Knockin' on Heaven's Door (1997)

    The trailer is very long here, but I couldn't find a shorter version in English because the movie is German. And it's absolutely brilliant. Oh, and I am not sure how good the English translation for this is, but I hope it is as good as the Russian one because Russian translation for this movie is one of those rare cases when Russian translation is actually damn great.
    The story is about two terminally ill people - Martin Brest (Til Schweiger) and Rudi Wurlitzer (Jan Josef Liefers). They both only have a few days to live, they meet at the hospital, they get wasted and decide to go see the ocean. The twist is, they accidentally steal a car that was used by a pair of very dumb criminals to transport a whole lot of money to their boss. So now they try to get to the ocean and have some fun along the way while running away from police and gangsters alike. While spending all that criminal money.
    Obviously, this is the first movie I saw exploring this theme, and it had quite an impact. There is never a dull moment. There are nicely paced melancholy scenes in-between extremely entertaining action. Naturally, as it is with movies like that, it is quite sad, really. But you are supposed to feel sad after watching it, so it's okay. Oh, and the two mobsters chasing the main heroes are hilarious. Also, Rutger Hauer makes a short appearance.

    The Bucket List (2007)

    This is somewhat similar to the previous one. Edward (Jack Nicholson) is a rich man who owns hospitals, and when he is diagnosed with terminal illness, he has to share a room with another terminally ill patient - Carter (Morgan Freeman) who is just a mechanic but has a mind like a walking encyclopaedia. They don't like each other at all at first, but eventually Carter shares the idea of a "bucket list" - the list of all the things you want to do before you kick the bucket. Edward likes the idea and decides to provide the means for it. And off they go, not only having a time of their lives, but also learning something about themselves.
    Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Do I even have to say more? Well, yes, I do, but obviously, those actors give one hell of a performance. Now, in this movie they both have not a few days, but some months till they die, so they have more time for a mental change and, while the movie shows some nice stuff they do, it's much more focused on the mental side of it. What they talk about, how they change their views based on what they learn off each other. Obviously, not much is going on outside these two characters, but with these actors - yes, they can pull this off and keep the story interesting. And educational too in some places.

    Stand Up Guys (2012)

    This movie is, for a change, not about a terminally ill person. Val (Al Pacino) just got out from the jail after doing a really long time for a work gone bad. He is met by Doc (Christopher Walken) who was his old partner in that crime. Doc obviously wants to help his old pal to celebrate his release, but there is just one problem. During that work gone bad, Val accidentally shot the son of their old boss Claphands, and that guy still holds a grudge. So, even though Val never ratted out on his pals, Claphands wants him dead by morning. And he wants Val's best friend Doc to do it. And the thing is, Val pretty much knows this, so he knows that he doesn't really have any time left.
    Once again, great cast here. Pacino and Walken, and Alan Arkin also joins them for a short time. The whole aim of the movie is really not on the death that is very near, because at first it's not even talked about. Val gets out, him and Doc have some great time, visiting bars, hookers and old people house, stealing car and viagra. But the further they go, the more obvious the truth is. So, this one starts as a criminal buddies movie and end up being quite deep while still maintaining that relaxed attitude. And this time the aim is not just on characters but on all the wild things they do in just one night. There's a lot of action and not that many of the melancholy scenes in comparison, but those scenes are made just right. Also, this is probably the one movie out of these three that has the most optimistic ending of them all.

    Well, there you go. Three great movies, and you would do yourself a favour by watching them if you haven't yet. So watch them!

  • In Who's your favourite member on CL?

    I hate you all and this thread has no use other than people stroking each other. We already have enough of that with the goddamned rabu badges.

  • In How many tourists Ukraine will get this year?

    You know, it's really interesting to see how things are getting twisted around in what we have for news these days.

    Now the official position the government takes about what happened in Odessa is pretty much "terrorists attacked peaceful pro-Ukraine marchers, then ran away, hid in the administrative building and burned themselves because Putin told them so". I am really not even joking here, that's how retarded things are. Oh, and now, as part of investigation into who was responsible, they go around catching pro-Russian protests leaders and blaming the one mayor candidate that is actually the one against the current government.

    You know, I won't say that Ukraine suddenly became proper fascistic country this week. No, that happened earlier, I guess. But it is now so blatantly obvious and the things they make up are so stupid... Hell, we finally have hangings, which I expected about two months ago.

    While Odessa was expecting more violence on 9th of May which is a Victory Day celebration, we didn't really have none. However, exactly on the 9th, Mariupol (a city in the east part of the country) had fights between federalization supporters and Ukrainian militia. And I do say 'militia' because that's who they use in what they call 'anti-terrorist operation' - right-sector volunteers. Army is pretty much on support, at least is was in Mariupol - blocking entrances to the city and providing other support. And pretty much angry armed civilians were the ones fighting. And those militia people - they shoot at people with no weapons trying to record them on video. You know, to not let proper evidence get out.
    So, Mariupol had gunfights, and the thing is, some part of Mariupol police went against the 'government'. They refused to follow orders and clear the police building, so... they were burned in it. Yes, Odessa event kinda repeated in that City - the building was burned, and people jumped from the windows trying to escape fire and died. Not even just people, but members of police who refused to cooperate with the current government. That's apparently what we get here today instead of resignation.
    And you may wonder where are the hangings. Well, after the building was taken and the chief of police was taken away somewhere. Obviously, half a day later the burning was blamed on Russian terrorists, because every killing or accident is now blamed on those imaginary people exactly half a day after. And now the chief of police was found. Hanged. And right away is was blamed on the separatists. Yeah... I don't think I have to remind you that the building was taken by pro-Ukraine militia.

    So that's what we have right now.

    Another interesting highlight is that today Donetsk and Lugansk regions are having the referendum. Which, obviously, is already considered to be not legitimate by the current non-legitimate government. Oh, and by US.
    Results are expected to be in in about... I don't know, 8 or 10 hours, I guess. But the guy I know who actually lives in Donetsk atm says that a lot of people came to vote. Really, a whole damn lot. Now, I am not sure what the results of the voting would be. I am not even sure if that will amount to anything. But that's exactly why the military operation is conducted there right now - to not allow the referendum. And apparently it is happening still.
    Actually, I can't say much more about this. I guess, more stuff will be knows after the results will be announced and we will see the world's proper reaction to it.

    And a bit of the local news. Today two people who got seriously wounded during May 2nd died in hospitals in Odessa. One of them was a person I knew from another site for more than 12 years now. He was there in the centre of the city, he participated in the fights and he got a bullet in his stomach for that. For 8 days he was in a come and doctors were unable to save him.
    It was damn stupid, what he did. But he was a good man, I never heard anything bad about him during all 12 years, and it is a sad news that he died.
    Those two people rise the number of people killed in the events of May 2nd in my city to 48 people.

  • In CL 4-Koma Anthology Thread Part 2: CL-Related Comic Strips (NEW BATCH UP)

    Btw, how many submissions are there now?

  • In CL Updates: May 2014

    Ah, this makes me feel all warm inside. Back in the day I tried to make staff make proper goddamn reports on code changes, features and the like. So, that's one more thing to scratch of the list of things I am constantly frustrated about.

    You may want to sticky it for a few days so it would not go down and more people would see it. Or maybe just link it though announcements.