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Wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of potatoes.
SlantDuffy joined on Jun 29th, 2011, since that has made 237 posts that are still accessible today, 5 of which are threads. Helping shape the community, SlantDuffy has given 274 upvotes, and was last online on May 24th, 2013.
But his glory was short-lived, as he ran out of batteries. He only took BB-2590s. He shut down and fell into a bog. His body was recovered by hermits and stripped for scrap metal.
On the other side of town
W2 form from the time he worked as a
his taxes for calendar year 2011, after much coercion from
that's right, a squeeze of Kosukechan's fear, confusion, and utter disgust. It was a drink favored by
(okay for reals now, I am done)
SlantDuffy's refusal to partake in this god.damn. thread for the rest of the night. It was a drink served on the rocks with a squeeze of
(1) Cunt (2) Punt (3) Runt
Who were immediately devoured by Nigger Faggot's Monster Zombie Pussy. There was god.damn. Pandinus imperator DNA in that serum.
She underwent a transformation too violent for even SlantDuffy to describe with text. Her Killer Kooch had a mind of its own, and its thoughts were:
KILLER KOOCH KILL @KOSUKECHAN!!!!!!
Her body bent backwards, her arms and legs split down their tibia/fibula and radius/ulna and bent against the capacity of her joints (now crushed) and ligaments (now torn). Through this painful metamorphosis, she was reborn as: SUPER NIGGER-SCORPION-WITH-A-PUSSY-FOR-A-MOUTH, NIGGER FAGGOTS LEGS FOR PEDIPALPS, NIGGER FAGGOT'S RIBS FOR LEGS AND SHIT, AND NIGGER FAGGOTS HEAD FOR A SHORT STUBBY TAIL
The beast charged down the halls of the ward with all twenty-four legs each pointy as a freshly sharpened pencil, clumsily scraping against the hall as patients and hospital staff alike vanished into its vagi-maw. With the consumption of each poor soul, the beast grew in size and each consumed human head gave an additional segment to its tail. (Its intended purpose is to, like...wrap around its victim, which each head chews/eats as the victim is crushed by the rest of the tail like a constrictor snake, I guess it could sting people, but it would have to eat someone wearing a pickelhaube.
KOSUKE KOSUKE KOSUKE KOSUKE I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU KOSUKE. ONLY AFTER I DEFILE YOU IN EVERY WAY I CAN FUCKING IMAGINE
The beast reached the end of the hall and met a large window at high speed, effectively launching itself outside of the hospital. (It was so pretty though, all the glass and moonlight. You should have seen it. Well, minus the Nigger-Vagina-Scorpion-Beast. But srsly! Flying bits of glass against the moonlight is really pretty!)
KOSUKE GOD DAMN I CAN SMELL YOUR SWEET FUCKING SCENT. MY MAW MOISTENS WHEN I THINK ABOUT HOW AWESOME YOUR TEARS WILL TASTE WHEN I SUCK YOUR EYEBALLS OUT THROUGH OF THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD
Not too shabby as last thoughts go. The giant beast impaled itself on a light pole and died. Which a god.damn. fucking doctor confirmed. So none of the "Or so we thought" bullshit. They even utilized magic and a god.damn. defibrillator. Those things are actually the genetically engineered healing-hands of Jesus Christ himself. Then someone was like, "Do we really wanna revive this thing?" (Damn. How the fuck do I think of this shit?)
Meanwhile, on the other side of town
Nigger Faggot, whose dick now resembled a burnt breakfast sausage. He wailed and cried in agony due to the lack of any physical stimulation in his "Cumbo Slice", "Niggaconda", "insert last-minute-big-black-dick-names here".
In 8 minutes, he was under the knife. Six hours and many incisions, grafts, and stiches later he woke up as a completely different person. He stared at the ceiling in a daze. Once he oriented himself, he remembered everything. Sodomizing a zombie. Getting zombie dick. Walking to the hospital, crying during the night like a rape victim. He reached for his crotch and felt...moisture. He read the sign atop the steel double doors that resembled the intended exit of the room, unless he was suicidal, which he now was at this point of day (in which case a window would serve just as fine of an exit). The sign read:
Post-Operation Patient Care Ward Sexual Reassignment Branch East Wing
It wailed in despair as it tore the plastic intravenous catheters, and the various vital sign-monitoring devices from its body. She rose from her bed. She walked toward the window. Each step brought the impact of a ten-pound sledge to her lower regions. Blood trickled down her light-blue hospital gown and was leaving a trail of red spots behind her. She arrived at the window. It was locked! (Well, it was never designed to open, as its only purpose was to let in daylight. Air circulation was handled by the Hospital's state-of-the-art ventilation system)
DAMN. THIS FUCKING SUCKS. She raised her hand behind her head and thrust forward with all her might. Along with her man-pride, the surgery had robbed her of her man-strength. Her knuckles crunched. Metacarpals fractured. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"
A nurse came running into the room. Unfortunately for Nigger Faggot, the lavender scrubs were a neat little disguise for
helping him cope with life's hardships, like the fact that he is now a zombie, or that he just got mouth-raped by Nigger Faggot, or the fact that he is about to get brutally raped yet-again by
I wonder who the culprit is?
sodomize kosuke in the mouth. Only after he removed kosuke's teeth and fingernails with angled needle-nose pliers. Just as he was about to come