Eh why not ill join

I don't wanna die, but also I don't want to be alive.

I just want to disappear from between my sheets,

And dissolve into the puddles on the streets.

Turns out I'm not as clever as before,

And people say I need to be more honest.

But honesty isn't something I can afford.

I'm not actively looking at the moment, but I am open to the idea. If I were to get married I would like a small wedding, just family and friends, no extended cousins or anything like that. Though the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of staying single for longer. Marriage can be a tricky thing, and I'd rather not be 5 years down the line and realize I made a mistake with the person I chose. So for the time being I'm just gonna enjoy being single.

Japan- It was about what I imagined. Greece- Totally blew me away, a beautiful country. England- Basically diet USA France- Really pretty city planning Colombia- Beautiful country, beautiful people, fantastic food. Also the jewelry is amazing. South Africa- Beautiful country and people, amazing food. Very affordable so that’s great.

The last time I saw my ex was last summer. I was in the city going to my favorite bar to congratulate myself on finally finishing a long work project. I walk in and she is sitting at the bar. She lives 12 hours north west of me by car. I had no idea she'd be there. We broke it off on good terms so I went up and said hi, we caught up. I drove her around to see the sights. A couple times through the night she tried to kiss me and I said "Im just not there, if Im honest it was only recently that I got over us breaking up and my romantic feelings for you." Then she said something that left me reeling. "Oh! By the way I have a boyfriend, its that guy I met when we were together." After that I dropped her off at her hotel and went home. Havent spoken to her since.

Hello Darkness my old friend.

I cant tell my highs from my lows anymore, sometimes I stay up all night just staring at the floor. Remembering how you shook yellin at me for my sins. The look in your eyes like javelins.

LIsten guys. I love some of you, some of you I tolerate, most of you I do not know. Im like super sad on the inside, like my brain doesnt work right. Like I wanna die on a regular basis and idk im just being overly sentimental maybe. IM gonna go cry in the bath tub.

It would feel really weird for me, Ive met so many long time friends here that I still keep in regular contact with. Having the place we met up and disappear would be jarring honestly.

I would probably be sad for awhile, but I've got most of you on discord so whatever. Id blame Warlock though.